In this Soul teaching on the Universe doesn't do injustice, you will learn: How the injustice in your life is an invitation to go within Why you must look through the illusion of injustice to see what's really going on How any rejection you experience is actually...
How Our Deepest Childhood Wounding Are Always Connected to Past Life Wounding
by Sabriyé Ayana
Spiritual author, Multidimensional Healer, Founder of Akasha Quantum Soul Healing™ & the School of Inner Union
In this Soul teaching on the origin of our childhood wounding you will learn:
- How past life wounding creates childhood wounds
- How ancestral wounding reinforces childhood wounds
- How we are all in a way still subconsciously reacting to life from a traumatic experience that no longer exists
- What happens when we peel back the layers of our wounding
- and more….
Childhood wounding doesn’t stand on its own
Within psychology we look to our childhood as the origins of our traumas and subconscious wounding being caused by our early childhood experiences that shape and form us.
But the problem with this viewpoint is that childhood trauma or wounding, doesn’t stand on its own or appear out of thin air. It’s not just a question of random fate or the rotten cards that life has dealt us. We bring the (karmic) seeds for those experiences in with us from previous timelines, such as past lives and through our ancestral lineages.
Which means that childhood wounding/trauma always has a deeper root, outside of our current incarnation. In fact, our childhood wounds are always related to our unresolved past life pain and trauma. They can also be ancestral as well, but they don’t have to be. When they are ancestral in nature, they are automatically past life related too, as all our ancestral wounding is connected to our own unresolved pain and trauma from previous lifetimes that we seek to resolve by taking on our ancestor’s unresolved trauma and pain that are connected to the same soul themes. You can find all the teaching on ancestral or transgenerational trauma here.
Wounding just like everything else is interconnected and cannot be seen separate from this interconnectedness if we truly want to heal the root causes that created them. In a way, this is what is stopping a lot of people from truly healing their issues, as they do not see the bigger picture of their experience. The only way to get this bigger picture is to dive deep into one’s healing on both a current incarnation level (this lifetime), as well as on a soul path level (all one’s previous incarnations).
Often people that are still struggling with their own healing take this to mean that they somehow brought their childhood wounding unto themselves if they accept this as true, which would then mean that the people that hurt them weren’t wrong in doing so.
This is nonsense of course, just to be clear on a very practical and physical level adults and older children are always the one responsible to ensure the safety of little or younger children. So, when an adult or an older child fails to do this or worse hurts a child, they are morally wrong and should face the consequences of their actions in accordance to the severity of what happened. No, one is being let off the hook so to say.
Secondly, all previous life wounding as well as ancestral wounding is held subconsciously and brought into each lifetime on a soul path level. You can not hold the ego/personality responsible for decisions made by the soul, as that part of who you are did not create the wounding to begin with – it’s merely inheriting it from its predecessors on both a soul’s incarnation as well as ancestral lineage level.
I explain these principles even more in depth in Module V of the Akasha Quantum Soul Healing™ Practitioners Certification training, where we dive deep into healing childhood trauma across all timelines.
In order to be able to retain the level at which we were playing the incarnation game, instead of having to start from scratch each new lifetime, we get to put our level of understanding of the game into the cloud, so that we can download it at the beginning of each new incarnation.
However, you cannot just retain your level of understanding without retaining what you haven’t understood, what didn’t work, etc. which is the sum of your wounding – that is uploaded to the cloud as well (the cloud being the causal body that I have discussed before here. It’s where we hold our karmic template).
In this way we get to retain our understanding of the game to the level to which our soul’s incarnation predecessors (who our soul was in previous lifetimes) have played it and it is through our ancestral lineage and our family of origin that we make sure that both the positive as well as the negative of that retained knowledge is not only downloaded, but baked into the cake so to speak – as we are literally the bun in the oven, remember?
And just as we accept that our Earthly family ancestry has shaped and formed us even before we are born through our DNA, the same can be said for as it were our soul’s incarnations ancestry who have been different people and personalities throughout our soul’s path. So, although it is the same soul that has incarnated over and over again, it creates a different person and personality throughout each embodiment to be able to incarnate and experience life through.
Childhood trauma timeline
The below timeline could be anybody’s timeline, but I will use examples from my own healing journey to explain it. Most often a person will have multiple past lives connected, but for the purpose of simplicity and understanding I have left those out.
Incarnation wound experience
Not all childhood wounding is connected to our soul’s incarnation wound, but in my case with this specific pattern it is. For most people the root of their childhood wounding will merely be in one or more previous lifetimes, although one way or the other, ALL our wounding in the end stems from the incarnation wound as this is where we created our trauma filter through which we from then on viewed and interpreted our reality experience.
In my incarnation wound life I was a 13 year old boy in ancient Egyptian times, my jealous older half sister (who is my current life mother) had cast doubt on the purity of my spiritual gifts. I was tricked into believing that I was being initiated into a higher rank or level within the community, but instead they performed an exorcism on me to drive out the evil that wasn’t there in the first place. After this I was shunned by the community and because I was so young, I started to doubt my own purity and God-likeness.
This however is exactly what the incarnation wound is meant to do and that is create the separation between the ego and the soul, so that we can fully experience duality which is impossible as long as you are still in the perpetual unity and oneness state of the soul. In revisiting the incarnation wound life I was shown that the initiation had been done to initiate me into the next level of humanity, which was developing the ego.
All human beings go through the process of creating an original incarnation wound, so that we are able to experience duality as part of our soul’s evolution process which I have described earlier here in this teaching on the incarnation wound.
Past life trauma experience
I am selecting the most relevant past life story here, although often many more past life stories can be connected to our childhood wounds in this lifetime.
In this past lifetime I was a fetus being born to an indigenous woman who is in this life my current life mother, she was married to another man but raped by her uncle (who in this lifetime was my now deceased father). Because of the immense shame she dreaded to bring onto me, herself and her family my mother committed suicide by hanging herself from a tree.
However, due to the fact that I was still so small and inside her, I did not understand that this is what had happened. When I went into the past life memory, I felt I was being strangled by my mother because that is how I had remembered it. Children in the womb are in complete symbiosis with their mothers and can feel every emotion the mother has. I had imprinted my mother’s dying experience as my own as she was the one who died from asphyxiation by hanging herself.
When I went back to that lifetime a second time I was freezing cold as if I had in the end been in cold water in the womb while dying. Not knowing how long a child stays alive in utero after the mother dies, I found that depending on how the mother died, the child doesn’t die instantly with the mother and can actually be saved from the womb and live.
I didn’t survive my mother’s death but I also didn’t die instantly with her which was a very terrifying and traumatic experience.
In utero wounding experience
Fast forward to this lifetime and one of the healers that I have worked with since 2017 told me again that she felt that I had not been alone in the womb initially being born into my current lifetime. The first time she had suggested this, I had discussed it with my mother who said that she was sure that she had only been pregnant with one child.
Now seeing that it came up again, I dove deeper into the subject especially because of the deep parallels with my childhood trauma. I am writing this chronologically in reversed order, but it was actually through healing my current life childhood trauma that these other deeper connections to the past became visible.
The healer saw that in my current life I had been part of a set of twins, my baby brother had died in the womb early in the pregnancy. There seemed to be an issue with the umbilical cord on his end. He died and I had felt completely powerless to help him, but also guilty that I had survived at ‘the cost of his life’.
Apparently twins can share the same placenta. Sharing a placenta means that twins share a blood supply during pregnancy. Sometimes the blood supply is shared unequally, which can cause health problems for one or both twins.
My baby brother’s death coincided with another traumatic event, my parents who had already been together for three years got into an altercation and although my father had never hit my mother before, he beat her that day. This was abruptly stopped when a friend of my father showed up unexpectedly and my father did not hit my mother again until two or more years later. Because it was the very first time my father had hit my mother in all the three years they were together, my mother was deeply shocked by what happened.
The shock of my mother being beaten and my brother dying reactivated the past life in utero trauma I had sustained dying in my mother’s womb.
Childhood trauma experience
I come from a family of incest in this life, my father started sexually abusing me from the age of two or maybe even younger and then later moved on to my nine years older half sister who was more interesting to abuse as he could do more with her sexually as she was older and she was much easier to control than a young child that was just learning to talk.
The incest started with me, but in a way I got off more easy than my half sister did and although the after effects of my own incest experience have been great, my older half sister suffered even more from the experience both at that time and later in life.
In a way I was my father’s guinea pig in starting inappropriate behavior, but because I was so little and because he had some common sense left he went to my half sister to do what he couldn’t do with me. At that time there were three girls in the house, I was three, my half sister was twelve and our older (for me half) sister was fifteen going on sixteen.
Apparently my father did try something once with her as well, but she told him to f*ck off, something that my other half sister and I were not in the position to do. In fact, she left home pretty soon after that to go live with her boyfriend’s family but my other half sister and I couldn’t leave. We were stuck in this situation, with these parents to take care of us and my mother was initially completely oblivious to what was going on in her house while she was working night shifts in the hospital as a nurse.
Peeling back the layers
Above you have read all the stories that created unresolved pain and trauma that I had still been carrying with me and had brought with me into this lifetime as well as how this bled through into my current childhood. Now, I will describe some of the ways this has affected me. The incest itself has had a far greater impact on me that I have written about before, but for now I just want to highlight the theme of wounding that runs through this whole timeline from way back when to now.
Above we went from the past to present, however now as we are peeling back the layers of this particular subconscious wounding we start at the present and work our way back…
Although I already knew about my incarnation wound and the past life wound where I died in my mother’s womb after she committed suicide, I didn’t know how these parts were connected to my current life until I did a healing on receiving wounds.
The reason I wanted to heal my receiving wounds was to increase my capacity to receive, at one point I realized that I had created a very successful but utterly exhausting business based on me giving and giving and then giving some more, but not by far getting back what I was giving out. In fact, quite the contrary in many cases my over-giving only led to me being squeezed dry and then being beaten or bullied to squeeze out some more. I had attracted to me many people, but luckily not all – that were insatiable. It didn’t matter how much you gave them, it was never enough and they always wanted more, more, more and even more.
Realizing this, I had already stopped all the channels through which I was over-giving, the free teachings that went way further than the blogs that you can consume for free on other websites, the free oracle website, Android and iOS app that was free to the people using it but not free for me. I had to pay both fees to host my free apps in the app store as well as pay for their development and updates.
I started charging my clients upgrade fees who had been in my containers for years for free after paying a relatively small fee to join and most clients left, because they didn’t want to actually pay for what they received.
The end result was that a lot of people got angry with me for discontinuing free services, that now that they were paid services they were no longer interested in. However, knowing that I am the creator of my own reality it would be useless to be angry with them for their behavior.
Instead, I realized that the solution to my problem was of course internally and cannot be found externally. I needed to work on my ability to receive, because it was in no way balanced with my ability to give. This is heart chakra wounding, so I went to a heart healing specialist. I share all my personal healers with my clients in the Inner Healing Circle.
In the session with her I saw that my father had at one point abused my half sister and I simultaneously. My mother had gone for a three month trip to the United States by herself and had left me as an almost five year old with my father and half sister. During that time, my sister had held me down while my father hurt me and I was screaming and crying for them to stop, which they didn’t. Of course my half sister was only doing as she was being told and my father was very violent at that time.
When my father first started sexually abusing me as a young infant I made it mean that this meant that I didn’t deserve to be loved. My mother being oblivious to what had happened to me and not finding out about my sister till years later, felt to me as the reinforcement of my not being worth protection or love and then this experience with my favorite half sister who I had always felt the closest to sealed the deal.
It created a trifecta that made me decide that it was not safe to be loved, because all the people I loved and that were supposed to love me, hurt me or allowed me to be hurt. I shut myself off to receiving love, because love in my family of origin was not safe. It created an imprinted that love is not safe and full of betrayal, because even my half sister had turned on me and betrayed me in my perception of an almost 5 year old. The seeds for seeing things this way had already been planted in my incarnation wound life, where it was also my older half sister that betrayed me.
In our session leading up to the actual heart healing session, the healer had mentioned that it was almost as if I carried survivor’s guilt towards my sister for getting off better than she had from our mutual childhood experience with our father.
She had three children from three different fathers, she had an eating disorder, a drug addiction, she had huge issues keeping a relationship, she had huge difficulties staying monogamous in a relationship, she was easily triggered, basically slept with anyone who was nice to her and worked for years as a high end call girl.
This girl was damaged with a capital D and it wasn’t all due to my father, her mother was a nightmare as well, waking the kids up in the middle of the night to organize their closets, making them eat from the floor, putting them out on the balcony in the winter in only their underwear to punish them and much, much more. It was for this reason that my oldest half sister had at one point taken the bus with her little brother and sister to her father’s house to escape the horrors at their mother’s house. My half brother ended up staying with his mother, but the girls came to live with us.
When the healer suggested survivor’s guilt, a term that I had never heard of before, it hit me so deep that I had to cry and even after the call I kept crying because I recognized this feeling so deeply. When healing money blocks in the Akasha Quantum Soul Healing™ journeys, it’s not uncommon to see that a client will subconsciously not allow themselves to out earn their parents. I had already out earned both of my parents, but the healer pointed out that I had subconsciously not allowed myself to out earn or do better than my half sister.
Here is where things get interesting, when my dad who used to own a lot of property in Amsterdam died he had basically squandered it all. We were meant to share our share with his new wife and her two children and would get 17K each with interest after she died. She appears to have vanished with the money.
My dad had also sold the house he had owned to my half sibling’s mother for a symbolic amount, she died a millionaire and her three children inherited well. My half sister then also took care of one of her mother’s ex-lovers until he died and also inherited money from him. So, my half sister in the end also had more money, even though she has been on welfare and disability for her whole life. I saw that I had subconsciously not been allowing myself to have more than she had on top of shutting myself off to receiving love because it wasn’t safe. It was like a double-whammy.
Vanishing twin syndrome
After my heart healing session, I had a session with another healer – the one I had been working with since 2017. As soon as I mentioned the survivor’s guilt, she went back to seeing me be part of a biological twin set in the womb and the other child dying.
This came up again in a session with another healer, however by that time I had already dove deep into the subject and found that vanishing twin syndrome is a relatively common occurrence in multiple fetus pregnancies. It happens in the first trimester of the pregnancy in about 36% of multiple fetus pregnancies, this percentage increases with the number of fetuses in the womb. Women above thirty are more at risk and often this loss or partial miscarriage is not detected, especially pre ultra scans and hormone testing.
I am born in an era where this was not available and my mother was in her thirties when she was pregnant with me. When the other fetus is miscarried it does not exit the womb, it is either reabsorbed by the mother, the placenta or the other fetus – hence it being named ‘vanishing twin syndrome’ as the twin appears to have vanished from the womb.
Because my twin brother’s death coincided with my mother’s and our shock of being beaten by my dad, it became extra traumatic.
Trying to save my mother
In a next session with yet another healer, I found that this in utero experience with my twin brother dying was connected to the past life in utero death that I had experienced with my then same mother as now and then same father as now. I had already seen this past life in a session with another healer, but now it was being shown to me again to understand the parallels between then and now.
Here I was again being born to the same mother and father that had ended in my in utero death in a previous lifetime. I was a product of rape in that lifetime, while I was a product of love in this lifetime. My parents had been together and married for three years before I came. Although my father would eventually become very violent, he had never hit or hurt my mother until that day and he would not hit her again until years later.
In that moment of external and internal panic, shock and my twin brother dying right beside me I responded with an energy of ‘this is not happening to me again!’ All of this triggered the unresolved trauma of the past life where I had died in my mother’s womb after she had hung herself, believing I had been strangled by her because I had internalized her death as if that is how I died because of the in utero symbiosis between child and mother.
As a three month old fetus (we pieced back together that this had indeed happened early on in the pregnancy that my father beat my mother), I became larger than life in order to protect my mother from dying on me again. This is a pattern that I have continued throughout my whole life, being the protector of my mother, not only because she in the end became a battered woman (the kind wearing concealer to cover a black eye and telling her colleagues she fell down the stairs), but also to prevent her from killing us both – which is something that happened across multiple of our past lives together and was specifically connected to this retriggered unresolved trauma of dying in her womb because she committed suicide.
Seeing I was actually trying to save myself
Through more sessions with other healers I saw that I had stepped in to become my mother’s lifeline, because of the guilt of not being able to save my twin brother and keeping him alive. Once out of the womb, I became everybody’s lifeline to make up for the fact that I had not been able to save my twin brother. This became even more reinforced by my mother’s lineage and her always looking for people to save.
I became everybody’s savior even if they didn’t want to be saved, which was an utterly depleting pattern for me, especially in the Twin Flame community where the majority of the people are happily stuck and going in circles within their romantic illusion and oftentimes even disillusions.
This is why I gave everything away for free because I wanted to save people. I wanted to help them get out of their endless going in circles, but most people didn’t want that. They wanted their romantic happily ever after (due to their own subconscious wounding) and no matter what I said or what I did, I could not get many of them to see that their own subconscious issues were keeping them from having the very thing they desired.
Although some did get it and signed up to work with me, a larger majority either chose to ignore me in search of quick fixes to their perceived problem or they ridiculed me, spit on me, wrote nasty things about me and often to me, when what I would put out would trigger their subconscious wounding. Some people even felt that because I was not ‘in union’ I had no right to speak at all or that nothing I said was relevant because I was only saying it because I wasn’t ‘in union.’ They refused to take my work seriously, because they only wanted to learn from someone who had already achieved what they wanted to achieve – be together with their person.
I realized that I was casting pearls before swine…
This was clearly a pattern that was not working for me and although I saw others in the industry being praised and thanked even though they were for example lying about being in union or were in an extremely toxic relationship, I got a lot of people being so loud in their negativity that they almost drowned out the positive feedback I got from my actual clients who loved my work, loved the results they got and who had grown so much with me.
But as one healer pointed out to me, this was my incarnation wounding playing out of being cast out and the nasty remarks of one jealous person close to me that had cost me everything. The whole community had turned against me when I had been demonized by my then older half sister and the spiritual hierarchy in our community – back in ancient Egypt.
Finally, in a session with another healer different from the ones mentioned till now, I saw that in the end this whole business of trying to save others was created from a trauma response in which I was actually trying to save myself. I could literally see myself rising above my body to gain control over my environment, so that it could not hurt me. Needless to say, this was not an effective solution and now that I could see what it had brought me over the years – I was ready to stop doing it because despite how noble it seems to want to save and help people, it’s actually one of the three faces of victimhood.
It wasn’t only something that backfired on me professionally, it also came to bite me in the butt personally to the extent that I realized that I needed to curb my knee-jerk reaction to help everyone. I was so driven to help people that it didn’t even matter if I needed to over-extend myself in order to compulsively be of service. I was so trained in over-extending myself, it didn’t even occur to me that I did not have to do this.
While most people develop this kind of pattern in order to be liked, I developed it in order to feel safe. I didn’t need people to like me for any other reason, than that experience had taught me that it was dangerous to have people not like you based on my incarnation life wounding.
Deciding that it is safe to receive now
So, now that I had seen that all my efforts to save others were actually a result of my need to save myself in that moment of trauma, I was ready to do things differently.
Don’t get me wrong I love my work. I love most of my clients. I have had a successful and affluent business that has allowed me to travel the world paying for three people (my mom and son went with me), staying in 5 star hotels throughout our trip if we were not staying in luxury Airbnbs and after that moving to a villa apartment in Ibiza, while spending a small fortune on my healing that has been more than a 6 figure investment over the past seven years.
But the price I had to pay to create all this, has been immense high and has led to near exhaustion because of my own subconscious wounds and patterns that made me the over-giver that I have been.
I had done it, I had created the lifestyle and life that most people dream of but at the same time I had created an insatiable monster that depleted me. It was unsustainable, even if I had wanted to I would have not had the energy to keep it up and I would have definitely NEVER have had the energy to scale my business to a bigger audience.
At the height of my giving it all away for free, I had 75.000 unique visitors a month reading my work. I was helping thousands of people for FREE every single day – which is not a sustainable business model. It’s also not true that the more you give, the more you receive because if you have problems receiving, these receiving wounds will not miraculously be healed by giving more. Trust me, I tried it, it doesn’t work.
The more I went my own way and hammered on the need to heal your own subconscious wounding, the less this group of people was interested in listening to me because I was the only one in the industry saying this. The rest were all promising ‘union’ whether they could deliver or not – which is what their target audience wants to hear. Kind of like telling people who want to lose weight that they can lose weight with out changing their diet or exercise, or telling business owners that simply by changing your mindset (without healing anything) you can manifest 80K or 100K months, it’s just a question of thinking positive.
There’s an example for every industry, but it’s basically selling people what they want to hear.
At some point I simply realized that I was talking to the wrong people, I was trying to convince people who actually only wanted to be in a relationship the importance of healing and the larger majority had no interest whatsoever in healing. When what I should be doing was talking to people who already know the power of healing and are interested to take this healing to the soul or soul path level. What I teach is soul liberation and when all was said and done, many of these people who identified as spiritual and who felt that they had found their Divine counterpart couldn’t give a sh*t about soul liberation – they just wanted to be together with their person.
I tried my best for a while to continue to serve the Twin Flame community on my own terms, while changing my focus and brand when in the end two of my clients who were so angry with me for discontinuing my Twin Flame work, created a situation that escalated so far that I was ready to leave the Twin Flame community altogether. In a way that situation helped me find my deeper wounding behind my incessant desire to save people which was still for the large part unconscious at that time.
These two clients and then three situations in my personal life happened in a short period of time that helped me see this pattern ultra clear, I would go out of my way to help someone who had asked me for help and then either they would not be appreciative of my help (be lying about their dire circumstances/take advantage of me by dishing out a sob story) or they would literally screw me over. In Dutch we would say ‘stank voor dank’ which makes no sense in English but roughly translated you could say that it means to ‘get sh*t as thanks’.
And although it’s much more comfortable to claim victimhood and say that these people were taking advantage of my good heartedness and kindness, I realized that I was the one allowing and enabling them to act in this way. Which meant that I had to do things differently, in my personal situation I simply replaced the person that was causing a lot of stress with moving my mother’s stuff here to Ibiza and who had been stealing from us.
Professionally, I made a dossier of evidence and then sent the person creating the most issues a cease and desist letter threatening her to hire a lawyer and notify the police of her online harassment, if she continued to slander my name and business online. That was taking care of the practical side of things, but that was not enough to truly shift the pattern on the deepest level.
Instead, I really had to consciously decide that it is safe to receive now, all these experiences of the past no longer exist. I am not living these past lives anymore. My father is dead, my half sister and I have not spoken to each other in ten years because I didn’t want her in my life anymore for different reasons.
One healer said to me in regards to this client hounding me the way she had online, that it was time to stop responding to her or other people who acted in such a way as if I was still in my incarnation wound life – afraid that their words could hurt me in the way that the negativity cast on me in that life had hurt me. I needed to realize that I could now trust, that even when someone said really nasty things about me, that life itself would keep me safe.
It was time for me to not only know mentally that life (God/Universe/my soul) is always supporting and protecting me, but to truly live this belief and embody it – which are different things. Mentally knowing things, is not the same as actually embodying this knowing.
So, that is what I have started doing is truly embodying this knowledge that I am safe in life’s or the Divine’s hands which in some ways is more challenging for me than it is for others. I don’t have a partner that will pay the bills if I can’t. My mother has no stash of cash to help me out. I am the sole breadwinner and responsible for three people, we also live abroad and cannot access the social security system here.
But this goes beyond finances though, as in all areas of my life I was the one that supports, not the one being supported. Even if there were people willing to support me, they were only able to do so to a certain extent. If I tried to lean on them completely, they would crumble and I would fall. This was true both personally as well as professionally even when these people really wanted to be there for me.
By peeling back all these layers of my subconscious wounding I came to understand that if I am in compulsive (over-) giver mode that I cannot be open to receive, because these are two very different energies. Giving is very masculine, while receiving is very feminine. Because of my pattern of hypervigilance that started with the incarnation wound, but that was reactivated during the in utero trauma I experienced coming into my current life – I was the strong one always.
I could not be vulnerable or weak, because it wasn’t safe to do so. I could not fall asleep on the job, because I would be too afraid that everything would fall apart if I didn’t hold it together.
Going to the core of this pattern in the way I have, has shown me exactly when and how I shifted into both survival mode as well as ‘masculine’ energy in this lifetime. This has allowed me to allow in what I have needed to survive, but not what I needed to truly thrive because I wasn’t subconsciously programmed for thriving because I was still so stuck in my in utero trauma response to secure my survival and that is exactly what I have lived in my life up until now.
Even when I did manage to upscale my life in the way I have, it was still at survival mode level. I could not allow myself to thrive and if I had not done all this healing work, I would have stayed living my life in survival mode until my life was over. I could have never allowed myself to thrive, because of this pattern of believing that if I did not stay hypervigilant and ready to respond – it would all slip through my fingers.
When you are subconsciously holding on so tight energetically, you couldn’t receive even if your life depended on it because your hands are full holding on tight to what you have.
My total investment
In a roughly four to six week period I worked with nine different healers, with some of them I had more than one session in that time. I spent around €3175.45 in healer and therapist fees, including wasting €1555 on two healing sessions that did not really give any insights nor results. These are the kind of healing session where people clear or heal you for you and I seldom find these types of sessions beneficial, despite the higher investments they didn’t create any breakthroughs whatsoever.
One healer’s fee was €1300 and she has since raised her prices. Was the €1300 session worth it? Absolutely, as it broke open a part that had not been seen or touched before, which allowed previous timelines to be connected and deeper healing to take place.
If you count the sessions spent on healing the incarnation wound, it’s a been a year and you can double the money invested and triple the amount of sessions with healers in order to heal it. I practice what I preach which is why I have worked with a big team of healers within my own healing journey. I charge more than the average healers I work with charge, because I get different results than the average healer in one session. My clients often say that one session with me is the equivalent of 8-10 healing sessions with regular healers. What took me over nine sessions to piece together – my clients often see with me in their one session.
But even so, I encourage my clients to work with other healers because one healing modality is never a panacea for all the various types of wounding we can carry.
For example even though the past life stuff was an important aspect, without finding and facing the current childhood wounding the healing could not be complete. In the same way that if we only focus on childhood wounding, we ignore the roots from which they sprang in previous lifetimes. When we truly want to liberate ourselves from our deepest patterns we have to address them on both the levels that they originated on, which is on a soul path level (past lives) and on and incarnation level – aka our current life childhood.
Collective Soul themes
Although it may seem as if everything you have read is about me, in reality it’s not. They are merely the examples needed to understand how this can play out.
What I have discussed here are collective soul themes, that we all face sooner or later on our soul’s journey. Even the theme of trying to save others is very common. The story of how it unfolds might be slightly different, but the essence remains the same.
My mother for example found in one session that she had escaped the fall of Atlantis on a boat where she led an evacuation of a group of people. They ran into trouble at sea and many drowned. My mother was shown that she was still searching for those lost at sea in her current lifetime that she had failed to save in this Atlantean lifetime. This was the driving force behind her pattern to want to save people.
A client of mine had a previous life trauma as a mother in a very specific situation where she had lost her children, she was now working with clients stuck in this same very specific situation and saw that her subconscious motivation had been to continue to rescue her children from this situation even though this had happened eons and eons ago. Her children from then were no longer in that situation, they had evolved as well within their soul’s journey and had created different experiences and circumstances for themselves – but because she was still subconsciously driven by this trauma she was still searching for her children in that old situation where she had lost them.
The details of the story are almost irrelevant, because the story is in a way the same for all of us. Because we got stuck in trauma then or now, we are subconsciously still responding to life as if we are still in that traumatic situation, even though that situation itself is gone. The only way to stop responding from trauma, is to go back to that moment of trauma and make it conscious. This does not retraumatize you, it sets you free.
This is where the details of the story become relevant, because that is the story that we are still responding to life through even though it no longer exists. I pray this teaching helps you find the old stories that you are still living out in your current timeline, so that you can truly liberate yourself from the past once and for all.
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