Three Generations Living Together Under One Roof

by Sabriyé Ayana

Bestselling spiritual author, Multi Six-figure Healer, Founder of Akasha Quantum Soul Healing™ & the School of Inner Union

Healing not only increases the money, freedom, or success you can allow into your life, for example, it also heals your relationships.

Whether it’s relationships at work, friendships, family, or with a lover – because healing restores everything back to love it heals our relationships back to love as well. You may have never looked at healing in this way before, but this is what healing does in our lives – it restores our relationship with something or someone back to love.

Just think about it, most people have a very fearful relationship with money, they are afraid to lose the money they have, they are afraid not enough money is coming in, they are afraid of receiving high bills, afraid of unexpected expenses, and for example afraid of paying fines and taxes. When we heal our money wounds, we are restoring our relationship with money back to love. When our relationship with money is healed (restored back to love) we forgive money, we forgive ourselves for our past mistakes with money, we trust money, we love money and allow money to love us back, Because we are no longer (subconsciously) afraid of money and have a different relationship with money, we can allow more money into our lives.

Although hardly anyone ever comes to me wanting to heal their relationship with a parent or their child, this is often a result of the healing work that is done. Many of my Akasha Quantum Soul Healing™ clients have significantly healed their relationships with for example parents or other family members due to healing the themes that come up in their own lives. Meaning we don’t even have to directly work on the relationship in the session in order to get these results, they simply come up while addressing other parts of their lives.

For example, one client had huge stagnation in her life and a tendency to procrastinate. When we got to the original wound we saw that she blamed herself for the death of her sister in a previous lifetime. In that lifetime she couldn’t allow herself to move on with her own life because she couldn’t let go of her sister. Her past life sister was now her current life mother and the exact same dynamic was showing up in her relationship with her current life mother. When we healed the past life experience and saw the truth about what had really happened (her sister’s death had not been her fault at all), it completely transformed her relationship with her mother in this lifetime.

Three generations interview

Today a sweet little article appeared in the Dutch media about our three-generations family (grandmother, mother & son) traveling the world and living together (English version here) under one roof. For many people, this would be impossible, they would kill each other or there would be constant drama. I remember my mother’s doctor once saying to me that he had huge respect for us pulling this off because he certainly wouldn’t be able to live with his mother. I think many people will recognize this although in many cultures it’s perfectly normal for multiple generations to live together, but that doesn’t always mean that it works or is an ideal situation.

As Ram Dass once said…

If you think you’re enlightened,
go spend a week with your family.

Your family more than anybody really knows how to push your buttons, but that’s the key. Your ‘buttons’ being pushed are your unresolved pain from this lifetime and previous lifetimes which are often deeply intertwined as our unresolved past life wounding are the root cause of our current life wounding. Part of the reason why I was able to travel for two years with my mother often having to share a room and sometimes even a bed, is because I had healed and was still actively healing “my buttons” so they didn’t get pushed anymore. My mother at the same time has also been working on her healing and although she is doing so at a much calmer pace than I have, she has made huge shifts as well. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t ever irritations but there’s never drama.

We have been able to live together and travel together because through our individual healing work our relationship has been and is being restored back to love and I have had some extremely painful past lives with my current life mother. Aside from the Twin Flame, my mother is right there in the top three sharing second place with my current landlord who I have also had surprisingly many past lives with. There was deep unresolved pain between us, including deep-seated hatred from a lifetime where she had committed suicide with me in her womb, and I experienced it as her murdering me when in reality I died in the womb due to her taking her own life after being raped by her uncle.

What people don’t realize is that these unresolved past-life emotions color our current-day relationships.

What most people don’t realize is that these unresolved past life emotions color our current-day relationships, I have seen this in my own healing journey and in my work with clients. You can’t separate past and present because they are deeply connected to each other, they are cause and effect. When we can see that, we can start healing them one by one. Because when we truly heal the past and recognize how it has created the present, we can let go of any hard feelings we have from both timelines.

Because our parents are part of our ancestral lineages, there’s often some extra ancestral trauma added to the mix as well – which means that you’re healing this within three different timelines.

The reward for doing this inner work is becoming trigger or ‘button’ free, but because everything is interconnected healing your relationship with your father or your mother can actually work through in other areas of your life such as your finances, your work, and of course your romantic relationships. If you happen to have a difficult or painful relationship with a parent, I can guarantee you that it’s not only affecting your relationship with that parent. That unresolved pain is bleeding through in other areas of your life and addressing your relationship with a possibly even estranged parent can be life-transforming because of the secondary healing effects it has on other areas of your life.

Sometimes however because of our current life experiences and the hardened emotions we have created around these experiences towards the people, we hold responsible (our parents and caregivers) we can find it difficult to soften our hearts because we are so angry or even resentful because of the pain (mental/emotional/physical) we endured at their hands. We maybe don’t even want these people back in our lives, but restoring a relationship back to love does not mean that this person needs to be in your life. Holding onto hardened emotions and unresolved pain doesn’t hurt them, it hurts you, and therefore your healing is not about them or letting them off the hook. Your healing is about you and having the full life that you deserve with or without them. Because these relationships tend to impact more areas of your life outside of the parent/child or caregiver/child relationship, coming clean within these painful relationships can and will create huge breakthroughs in your life in ways you cannot see yet because you are being blinded by your unresolved pain.

You may never choose to become a multi-generational family living together under one roof nor do you need to, of course. But becoming someone who could live in harmony with their parents in cramped quarters or for longer periods of time is not only going to make your life better but as Ram Dass indicates with his quote; it’s a litmus test for those who think that they have become spiritually enlightened. Our parents as our ‘creators’ on an incarnation level, influence our relationship with the Divine who is our creator on a soul level. Unhealed aspects of our relationship with our parents tend to bleed through in our relationship with God, the Universe, or whatever term we feel comfortable with to describe the Divine. I have found that the Motherwound, for example, is always founded in a deeper wounding with life itself, it’s the micro wound to the macro wound of not feeling nurtured, protected, and sustained by life our Divine Mother. This makes it as good as impossible to reach spiritual enlightenment (Ascension) without healing our relationship with our parents first.

With my deepest love,

, Three Generations Living Together Under One Roof

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