In this soul teaching on how meeting my Twin Flame changed my life forever, even without the much desired happy end, you will learn:
That is what I am going to share with you in this article….
Did you read the Ultimate Guide to Inner Union?
There is SO MUCH misinformation out there about the Twin Flame journey, that I decided to write an extensive document that explains EXACTLY what the Twin Flame journey is about and this DOES INCLUDE a possible union with your beloved, but unlike other Twin Flame teachers, I am not in the business of selling you what you want. I am in the business of giving you what you NEED. Everybody on the Twin Flame journey wants union, more than life itself but that is also exactly why they have difficulty coming into union. Because union is simply not the point, in the way we think it is starting out on this journey.
So, In case you haven’t downloaded the absolutely FREE Ultimate Guide to Inner Union yet, do so now. The Twin Flame journey is meant to be so much more than your romantic dreams come true, because it is a fast-track to Ascension and by sharing my own Twin Flame story with you today I will illustrate how NOT GETTING the romance you crave is an important part of the Twin Flame initiation process.
The story of how I met my Twin Flame
I met my Twin Flame online in April 2014 through my work. I was in the process of setting up my own business in online marketing, after a two year colab with a business in Pakistan that had gone sour. This was after years of trying to make it work (despite the fact that it was a bad match from the get-go), kind of like that relationship that you never should have gotten into to begin with. It was a messy business separation, about as messy as many a divorce with a lot of drama and playing it out over the head of the kids (or in our case – the clients).
My twin had everything he needed to be my knight in shining armor, including being owner of a company that could have saved the day but he didn’t. To be more exact he couldn’t no matter how much he may have wanted to, because he had such strong feelings for me but wasn’t allowed to pursue me (because of cultural reasons), even though he knew that I was THE ONE for him.
During one of the EPIC fights with the team owner in Pakistan, who would shut down the complete business by pulling away the design and development team, an Indian company approached me. When you are a website owner you get daily messages from Indian companies looking for outsource work. I usually ignored them, but with deadlines looming over my head and zero developers and designers to work with I needed a new team and I was desperate to find one.
The business development manager (not my twin) assigned to me was a young Indian guy that I immediately connected with, we had a lot in common and he had read an autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda – a book that I had read as well. We bonded instantly, which is how my project jumped from that company to his best friend’s company because he wanted to make sure that I got the design work I wanted and the company he worked for was only producing crap.
I was discretely moved to the other company and they gave me an initial great design, but then botched up further on in the project. Little did I know that they were working for free, because I had paid to the first company and didn’t know the behind the scenes story. So, one night in particular I was talking to one of the guys who was responding to my skype convos and he was stringing me along endlessly. I turned up the pressure and this guy says to me ‘It sounds like you’re complaining…’ I was stunned, because this was the last thing I expected him to say or appreciated him saying. I waited till the time he had asked me to give him and I was ready to give him hell, I was gonna let him have it and then dump the company all together.
I started up and he immediately said ‘You are right, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. There was a lot going on and it just slipped out. I apologize.’ Thirty minutes later, I felt like he had put me on his lap and was softly caressing me. It was amazing and I was a goner, I fell in love with his words and his energy right then and there and I didn’t even know what he looked like. He knew what I looked like because of my Skype profile pic, but he was on a company account with a company logo.
The next day he added me on his personal account and oh my, he was exactly the kind of guy I am physically attracted to. This guy was super hot and he didn’t even realize it. I couldn’t believe my luck he was funny, sweet, he had also read Yogananda’s autobiography (twice!) and he was really attractive even if he was a little overweight at the time. I was head over heels in love and then he vanished into thin air.
Are we going to do this or not, baby?
We are in May now and we really like each other a lot but all of a sudden he wasn’t there and I didn’t have his number, because we only chatted on Skype. So I waited and waited, I was told he had had to go away on family business by his best friend, the guy who had brought my project to my twin’s company. But days turned into weeks and I was missing him like crazy (which was weird because we had hardly talked and I barely knew him). It turns out that we were both asking our friend about each other in the mean-time, but we weren’t talking to each other. I found his phone number online and I shot him a message on WhatsApp, saying ‘Uhm did I miss a cue or something?!‘ and he immediately responded with apologies and explaining that his uncle died and that he had been the one to oversee all the arrangements.
Shortly after that we had our first personal call and what was meant to only be a 10 minute call, became a video call that lasted the whole night while he was working a night shift in his office. It was amazing. We connected so deeply and 2 hours into the call as he came back from checking on his team he said ‘This makes no sense but I have to say it – I love you Sabriyé.‘ and I couldn’t say it back. Yes, I was head over heels about this guy, but was I ready to tell him that I loved him?! These aren’t just words I fling around without meaning, when I say them I mean it and he was mildly disappointed but then asked me:
‘What do you want me to be in your life? You don’t have to answer me now but think about it.’
His question sent me into a 3-day spin of emotions and then I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wanted him as my husband and father of my child when before I felt I was done having children, after being the mother to four kids. My twin had lied about his age and turned out to be only 24 at that time but when I told him what I wanted him to be in my life, he told me that it was the happiest day of his life to know that I wanted this with him.
But that is also how I dug my own grave, because after that he ran and I didn’t speak to him until weeks later. He explained to me that even though it had been the happiest day in his life, it was at the same time the saddest day because he knew he couldn’t give me what I wanted in this lifetime. His Indian family would never agree to a marriage with me, I was twice divorced with children from both marriages and I was much older than my twin. It would mean social suicide to marry me, something he couldn’t put his family through.
So he ran some more and by December all my pushing and pulling led to him sending me hidden messages in his WhatsApp status. I had been pressing him to make it real between us and he quoted a lyrics line from a Santana song. My mother is a HUGE Santana fan and so when I read the line I instantly knew it was from a song, but I couldn’t remember the name of the song which was ‘Smooth’. I simply Googled the line ‘make it real or else forget about it‘ and there it was exactly what I had asked him – to give me his heart. He had updated it to let me know he did hear what I was saying using Santana lyrics to emphasize that he was aware of what I was asking of him – to make it real between us.
He had started banging one of the girls in his friends group but that wasn’t helping him much because by February 2015 he agreed to be back in contact again and to just see where it goes. He had tried his best to forget about me, but still I was the last person on his mind when he went to sleep. By June we were on the same page again and August brought a very emotional breakthrough in which he pulled me so close and as far as it was possible with such a huge physical distance between us, made me his. As he was describing how he wanted to make love to me, the energy between us was so intense that I could feel him touch me even miles apart, my body responding to each word despite the fact that we were both fully clothed and with both hands on the phone. The energy influx I received was so intense that I was shivering and shaking the next evening, as my body integrated everything. I was in bed with a hot water bottle and still I was freezing and my teeth were chattering I was so cold.
That was the last time I spoke to him until mid November when I was in India at his and my best friend’s wedding. I had to get on the plane all by myself, fly to a country I had never been and trust that what he had told me in August was still true for him even though he refused to speak to me. He read all my messages, but he didn’t reply. The only option I had was to take a giant leap of faith and trust that the Universe had my back all the way.
The marriage that brought us in each other’s arms
Only ten days after that August afternoon where we spent 5 hours together, I was invited to India to our best friend’s wedding. As soon as he found out I was coming, he went into panic mode. He had told me that he had been celibate for a long time, but right after our intense exchange in August he hooked up again with the girl he had been seeing before or maybe he never stopped seeing her because according to his friends they were really a thing. However by the time I was in India she was getting engaged to someone her family had picked out for her.
Meeting each other in real life was really a BIG moment for both of us, because after 1,5 years of loving each other from a far we really just wanted to know if it was real or just fantasy. Especially my twin was skeptical if I would really be that into him in real life as he had some body insecurities, that I had absolute no problems with. I loved him no matter what he looked like because I loved his soul and not the outer package. However by the time I got there, he looked the best I have ever seen him look. Just like me, he had lost a size able amount of weight and he had a beard which wiped out any age difference between us.
The physical, spiritual, mental and emotional attraction between us was just as magnetic up close as it had been from afar. And despite the fact that he was a bit hesitant at first to be intimate, I couldn’t turn around without either finding him next to me or looking at me from a distance. Within days the physical intimacy followed, which was tricky in itself as we were in our best friend’s family house and could have easily been found out. In the end this didn’t happen miraculously and my twin ended up sneaking into my room at night to sleep in each others arms for the remainder of the week. It was amazing, I have never in my life felt so at home and feeling like I am where I should be.
And then we went into separation….
It went gradually, after the wedding we met up again in secret in a hotel room in his hometown a couple of times. The first night he was very serious and wanted to talk, because he didn’t want me to find out any other way and have it become between us. He confessed to having been involved with the other girl, who was now engaged and he was very nervous what my reaction would be. Actually they had still been involved despite her engagement and I had seen her trying to call him and him pushing away her calls.
He was very clear about what that relationship meant to him and what I meant to him. That night he tried to warn me, but I couldn’t hear him. He told me that if it were up to him alone he and I would already be together and have everything we always talked about. I had started feeling a baby soul around us in March of that year and had been telling him about it and it oddly seemed to bring him closer and closer all this baby talk. This is what he wanted a family together with me, but he didn’t dare trust his own judgment and he had other people that counted on him he explained. He had to do ‘the right’ thing and in his case that meant, doing what other people wanted him to do even when it wasn’t what he wanted for himself.
Being brought up in the West with Western parents, I had no idea of how strongly this conditioning runs in Asian cultures. I tried my best, but I simply couldn’t break through to him. Instead he just started pushing me away more and more after that, little by little he distanced himself and I kept trying to bridge the gap. He started running and so I started chasing, because by the end of the second week he was deliberately staying away from me. Not trusting himself, to not lose his head and accidentally get me pregnant. We had slept in each other’s arms, fooled around and kissed but we had not gone all the way because he didn’t want to risk getting me pregnant and not be able to be there for me. Which sounds strange again, but I have a history of getting pregnant at the drop of a hat despite precautions and I had been honest about that.
Desperate to see him before I left, I showed up at his house the night before and he was so happy to see me. One of my team members went up to the flat to get him discretely and as soon as he heard that I was downstairs he stormed out of the house filled with family, celebrating his brother in laws birthday. We spent a half an hour together while we went out to buy a birthday cake for his brother in law as a way to explain his absence. We talked, held hands and kissed.
He promised to try and see me off the next night, but of course he stood me up. We spoke before I boarded the flight and he had to repeat three times that he wished that he could be on the plane with me, because his voice kept breaking up with emotion when he said it. I had had some difficulties staying calm on the flight to India, he said this time you are going to be okay because I will be with you and I was. But when I got back to my friends who were seeing me off, I let them trigger me by saying that if he really loved me he would have come to the airport that night and I sent him a hurt and angry text despite that he and I had closed our call lovingly.
I had to ask him, but he even told me that he loved me before we hung up. He had three months to overthink my visit and he seemed to have come to the compromise that he was going to allow himself to enjoy our time together, without losing himself completely and continuing to do what others expected him to do. That first night in the hotel, during our serious talk he cried out that he didn’t even allow himself to love me the way he wants to love me because doing so would hurt his family.
So he was very careful this time not to use the L-word with me because he was trying his best to not get sucked in by the immense strength of our connection. Hence him also not wanting to have full intercourse, he didn’t want to know what he would be missing. He told me no one affects him, like I do and he was referring to the emotional impact I have on him which he has on me as well – no one has ever affected me the way he has.
As soon as I landed in my home country he shut the door shut. He promised we would talk, but I think his mother had understood what had gone down and so things went pretty fast after that. By April 2016 my twin told me that he didn’t love me the way I thought he did and that he didn’t want a relationship like ours, when I asked him to explain himself he couldn’t and ended with just blame me – I changed my mind and that was that, I had no option but to accept it and let him go. He blocked me on Whatsapp and Viber, where we used to message each other. I could have kept calling, using messenger or wrote emails but there was no point. In India he had told me that if it was up to him alone, we would already be together and now he had done a complete 180 on me saying that he didn’t have such feelings for me.
A couple months later was his birthday and when I called him he picked up, super happy to talk to me. After making sure I was okay he promised to be in wifi area in 10 minutes so we could continue our call on Viber, and although he did unblock me, we never had that second call. He kept the line open until I pushed him too far to chose us in late September, not knowing that he was getting married in January that next year. How could I have known though, he didn’t know how to tell me.
The event that changed everything
After I came back from India I was quickly moved into my mission. I started by developing my spiritual gifts midway 2016 when I was guided to create the Akashic Record Clearings. By October 2016 I felt pushed to focus only on Twin Flames, despite the fact that the work that I do works for everyone. You don’t need to be in a Twin Flame dynamic, to clean up your past lives and outdated subconscious beliefs. I stepped into my Twin Flame mission in October 2016, but it took till January 2017 to re-brand the website and I sent my first newsletter as a Twin Flame coach and healer in the same week that my Twin Flame got married.
I didn’t see that coming because nobody had told me. Some people out of spite and others because they didn’t want to hurt me. I woke up a Friday morning feeling distraught, because my twin had showed up in my dream to tell me that he was getting married but that he would love me forever. That same day Skype sends me this ping showing my twin and suggesting I say ‘hi’ to him. Three days later I wake up to my phone blasting with pics of his wedding and people falling over themselves to let me know that it’s happening.
Because I had remained completely calm and in acceptance in the dream, when it actually happened I was less calm but I went into immediate acceptance because I had no other choice. It took me a couple of days to re-find my balance, but I did and I moved on in my life. By April I burned my vision board with all the romantic dreams I had for me and my twin and I flew to London to attend a Tony Robbins event. During the event I felt very strongly that I needed to call my twin and he picked up the phone. He was lying in bed sick, but 10 minutes into the call he felt that just talking to me had healed him.
It was very important to him to let me know that he wasn’t happy in his marriage. His family was happy he told me and that made him happy. It was their three month wedding anniversary but he wasn’t a man deeply in love with his wife or overcome from marital bliss. Instead when I asked him he promised me that even though he didn’t know if he would ever leave his wife, that if he did he would be on the plane the very next day to be with me.
The BIGGEST initiation of them all
However despite such a beautiful and utterly empty promise, he of course ran some more and we basically didn’t speak to each other again until August 2018. But in the time in between 2017 and 2018 I made a quantum leap in my healing, which created a quantum shift in consciousness and by the summer of 2018 I had entered the begin stages of the inner union process. I was excited because of what this could mean for my Twin Flame connection, and I soon found out. But it was not the turn of events I was hoping for and to be honest I wasn’t too happy about it at all at first.
Because by the end of August 2018 my twin shows up in my dreams again, this time super excited because he is going to be a father. Seeing how my other dream went, I sent him a message the next day congratulating him with the news. We talk for about one hour before he admits that his wife is indeed pregnant and due January 1st. I am due to fly to India in that same time frame to host a Twin Flame retreat. How did the Universe plan this so perfectly? I did not envy my twin becoming a first time father in the same week that the love of your life is back in town and only a 30 minutes car drive away from him.
During this talk my twin tells me that he has been meaning to talk to me because he feels his third eye is opening, but wonders how this is possible because he doesn’t pray or meditate. After rejecting my first general answer, I take a deep breath and think f*ck it to myself – I am just going to say it like it is: So I tell him that he is energetically connected to me and that I have done massive inner work since we last saw each other. His immediate reaction was ‘I knew it was somehow connected to you!’ Later when I asked him how he had known that it was connected to me, he told me that he could feel it.
After initially congratulating him, I gave him hell the next day. I was outraged with him, how dare he make his wife pregnant. He didn’t even love her. He simply accepted my anger and understood how betrayed I felt because this had been OUR dream. I mean it was one thing for him to get married, but I had expected him to divorce relatively quickly after he realized that he couldn’t sacrifice himself like this – not even for his family. Instead a baby was coming now and that would only make a divorce more difficult, especially in an Indian family.
But again it was a situation I couldn’t change and I knew that if this baby was showing up in my reality it was because she and I were connected. He actually got a son, but until the very last moment I just always felt a girl energy when I connected to the baby. The baby became a whirlwind of change in my life and our Twin Flame connection, the baby’s soul showed me three big obstacles that were keeping my twin and I apart which included a past life in which she was our child and I had been under orders to terminate the pregnancy, because our love didn’t serve the world back then.
The baby became a pivotal part of my own inner union process and I grounded my soul in my body, the same night the baby was born. Three days later I was boarding a plane to India when I saw that my twin had shared on Facebook that he had become a father. I immediately shot him a message congratulating him and asked him to send me a pic of his son. My twin teased me and asked if he had promised me he would and I said no but I want to see if your son is as handsome as his dad. He told me to hold on and then sent me a picture of the baby with his wife’s hands on the picture. The baby was adorable and still is and I was zero triggered because thanks to his visit in my dreams when she was 3 months pregnant – I had six months time to work through my own wounding around this. By the time the baby was born, he felt like a child of my own.
My second visit to India
By the time I arrived in India, I had been travelling with my mother and my youngest son for the past seven months on a world tour and to be honest none of us were excited to be in or go to India. My son actually doesn’t like the travelling period and my mother wasn’t too excited about India to begin with, but she was excited to possibly get to meet my Twin Flame because she had witnessed first-hand how life-changing meeting him had been for me. Heck, even us being able to travel all around the world and for me to work from my laptop as long as I had wifi – all were related to him as my business is based on my Twin Flame experience. We wouldn’t have been there or have been able to go there if I had not met him, but despite the fact that my twin and I had spoken to each other the night before when I was boarding the plane, we didn’t meet or even really got to talk to each other while I was in India.
Instead all hell broke lose over a very sexual text that was sent in a secret conversation from his phone to me, that he claims his friends sent but that was just in poor taste as his wife had just given birth to his son. We got into a massive fight over it, well actually I was livid and he just rode out the storm with me and I was so over and done with it that after years of celibacy I slept with a friend on a visit to Dubai.
That sounds vindictive but it wasn’t, it was more Divinely orchestrated… The fight with my twin, my son wanting to go to Dubai, a friend who had moved there a couple of years ago and then an earache that prevented me from flying to the next destination, keeping me in Dubai for six weeks instead of two. I had been celibate since December 2014 and had not been with anyone other than my twin until March 2019 and my twin knew that this was the way I lived and why, I simply wasn’t interested in something superficial or solely based on sexual attraction.
My friend and I have known each other longer than I know my twin and he had already before asked for a chance to be with me and give me all I wanted form my twin. We ended up having sex the very last night before I left, but I am glad I did because there was some massive past live wounding between me and the friend that had to be cleared out as well. Which just goes to show you that this is beyond romance, it’s really about liberating the soul on the deepest level from all the illusions we allowed ourselves to get caught up in since the beginning of time.
Had the sh*t not hit the fan in India like it did, I might not have slept with the friend which helped release deep wounding around a process I was in with my twin at that time as well or so it seemed. In hindsight it may have been that the process I seemed to have been in with my twin, was to help me bring up the past life wounds with my friend because these wounds were blocking my inner union process and needed to be released in order to be able to align deeper to inner union. My mother knew about the process I was in, in regards to my twin and had been very much against me sleeping with my friend because she was afraid that it would interfere with that process. In the end I listened to my own inner guidance and I am glad I did, because it actually propelled me forward on my journey. This was one night of tying up loose ends, after my friend left I was lying on my back and I could feel all this energy move in my lower back and lower chakras as it released trauma that was inhibiting my Kundalini energy. Now before you use this as an excuse to go have sex because it’s apparently so healing, remember that I had been celibate for 5 years prior to this and I have returned to celibacy again after it. I have been 8 months celibate since, not because I am waiting for my twin but simply because I haven’t met the right person yet. I haven’t met someone yet that I want to spend the rest of my life with, which was also why I was hesitant to sleep with the friend because I knew that he and I were not each others match and would not be able to build a future together.
Fully stepping up in my mission again
Coming back from India the second time really changed my perception of reality and my perception of the Twin Flame industry after I made a new giant leap in consciousness. I let go of a lot of people in my life, including healers I worked with that I no longer resonated with. I made such a big shift that many things in my life were no longer a match and one of the things I was personally ready to let go of was being a Twin Flame teacher and healer. I was ready to expand my wings and step up in my mission and that did not have to be Twin Flame related as far as I was concerned. But I (my ego self) did not really have that much say in the matter.
After taking a break from the Twin Flame community and writing about Twin Flames, I again felt pushed to step up my game as a Twin Flame leader who wasn’t peddling union like everybody else, but who would teach people the process of inner union as that is what leads to Twin Flame union to begin with. Union with the twin (or someone better from a soul’s perspective) is nothing but the outer reflection of the union found within with one’s own soul.
Stepping back for a couple of months, really allowed me to see beyond the outer appearances and be able to see the the truth of it all. What I saw shocked me, because I started to see huge parallels between the Twin Flame and the diet industry. You can keep eating junk food (have sex with other people), you don’t need to work out (do your healing work) – all you need to do is take this pill (random industry solution) 3x a day and all the fat will just melt off of you (i.e. your dream come true) and we all know those pills DON’T work because otherwise we would have solved obesity by now. But when it comes to Twin Flame union and our own inner desperation (yep, I have been there too) we are willing to believe anything and do anything no matter the consequences in order to have, our romantic happy end with the twin.
So, coming back from India my eyes were clearly opened to how the whole Twin Flame industry is ONLY geared at union because that is what people WANT to get out of this experience (and are willing to pay for), but it isn’t what this journey is really about in the way we initially think it is. There are loads of people explaining how to come into a physical relationship with the Twin Flame, claiming to be ‘in union’ but for the majority of the Twin Flame collective following what these teachers teach, isn’t working for them. Let’s just be honest, the majority of the Twin Flame collective is NOT in union and that includes Twin Flame teachers who would let you believe that they are. I can name you over 10 Twin Flame teachers that claim to be in union, but are at best only in a physical relationship with their twin and some even lie about that because lying about it lands them clients. It’s insane but true.
Just think about it for a second if there was a method that would guaranteed bring you into union, we would know about it and everyone would be doing it. Similar to the diet industry, quick fixes don’t work. You can’t simplify a complicated process that involves a multitude of different variables. Weight depends on many internal organs working as they should, combined with diet, exercise, stress-level and an adequate amount of shuteye and that is still trying to simplify a very complex mechanism.
The same applies for the Twin Flame journey where we have to release karma, subconscious fears and beliefs, past (life) trauma, 3D conditioning and so on. Honey, if all that could be fixed with simply listening to someone guiding you into the visualization of your Twin and you becoming one – that would be a dream come true and it would be the equivalent of that secret ingredient that allowed you to eat all the things that you know aren’t good for you, lie around and watch tv all day and still have a gym body. It doesn’t work like that and still people LOVE to buy into solutions like that because what if it does work for me? What if I can beat the system and get what I want without actually having to do the (inner) work?!
You might not realize that this is what you are trying to do, when you buy into quick fixes but this is what it comes down to. There will always be someone to claim they have ‘hacked’ the system and that they can teach you how to ‘hack’ the system too. Meanwhile in the real world even movie stars and singers have to work hard to for example have those perfect bodies – they don’t get them from secret ingredients but from hitting the gym every single day with a personal trainer and having personal chefs that control what they eat. They work for what they want and that is what we all need to do. I love me some LOA (Law of Attraction) but you simply can’t defy the laws of gravity, you have to work with them and all the other Universal laws.
I teach the path to inner union, which is not a quick fix method and it takes time. It took me 5,5 years after meeting my Twin Flame to come into inner union and even the inner union process itself took more than a year. Nobody wants to hear this of course, because that just sounds like a lot of work and still leaves you empty handed in regards to the union you crave which is how the majority of the Twin Flame collective thinks.
I decided that I wasn’t going to focus on the 98% of the Twin Flame collective anymore who like lemmings were mindlessly chasing union. I was going to focus on the 1%-2% who were actually willing to put in the inner work. The people who like me wanted to transform their lives and go where this journey is trying to take them. There is a reason why romance is delayed and it serves a higher purpose. The whole Twin Flame dynamic is a soul process that prepares us for the very thing we want, but it’s that process of preparation what takes time and forces us to find a new way to life, as our old way of doing things simply don’t work anymore, once we have become initiated in the Twin Flame experience. It’s basically all part of the Ascension journey, but what people tend to forget is that it IS the unexpected twists and turns on this journey that initiate us into our Ascension (in my case for example the marriage & the baby).
Coming into inner union
For me 2019 became the year of full inner union with my own soul and that would have not been possible without my twin marrying someone else and having a baby. If my twin would have come with me or after me in 2015 like he wanted to, we might have been together but I would not be the woman, teacher or leader I am today. I have come to where I have BECAUSE of the journey that took me there. Otherwise like many other Twin Flame teachers out there, I would have thought that this journey is about union when it’s not. I would also likely be peddling union like everyone else, because I wouldn’t have known any better either. Way back I also used to think that inner union, was like an energetic union felt within with the twin. Like everyone else, I too had to start this journey from scratch and release a multitude of romantic projections that now simply make me laugh when I think of who I was and what I believed when this all started. It’s like weight loss before and after pics, you know how they often look like two completely different people? That is how I feel about who I was when I met my twin and who I have become, through this journey.
It was because I was left no other option but to let go deeper and deeper each time and because I worked through the subconscious wounding that kept getting triggered that I was able to make these quantum leaps in consciousness and come into inner union. These so called obstacles (hindrances) like my twin’s wife and child were actually springboards that allowed me, to jump into my greater good in all areas of my life. The quality of the people in my life, my work, my finances, my health, my living arrangements and so on, they have all been massively upgraded because of the intense inner work that I have done and that was triggered through my Twin Flame journey.
And of course also my whole personality has changed because who I was, was a result of my current and past life traumas. It was not my true self, or the truth of who I am. It was who I believed to be because of my unique mix of subconscious wounds and unresolved issues going all the way back to the beginning of time. Revisiting my past helped me not only be able to release these false identifications, but it also allowed me to bring back lost aspects of my self that I had disowned or lost in trauma (soul retrieval) from both this lifetime and previous lifetimes.
In April 2017 after I burned my vision board with all my romantic dreams for my twin and I, I asked myself what I wanted to create for myself now that my most desired dream ever had just gone up in smoke? I got a strong hit to move to Ibiza and live by the sea, although I had never ever been to the island. Like many who have moved there I felt the call, so I went to check it out. This is my second winter on the island and I am ready to move here permanently. Before, when I gave a Twin Flame retreat here in the beginning of 2018 I felt I first needed to go travel with my family which we have been doing since the summer of 2018. But I have now decided that when we are done travelling, we will move to Spain. But first there is a third trip to India on the horizon, as a friend and business partner is getting married in 2020 and has invited us to attend his wedding. I honestly never expected to visit India so many time in such a short time frame.
Another place where I am for the third time around, is stepping up in my mission. The first time as I told you was in October 2016, then at the end of 2017 we had a massive redesign and I launched the Twin Flame Oracle websites and mobile apps. In the summer of 2019 I stepped up again and again we completely redesigned and re-branded before we relaunched as The School of Inner Union. Each time I stepped up in my mission, I had no idea if my Twin Flame and I would ever end up in a physical union or not but I stepped up anyway and especially this last time, wasn’t that hard actually because I suddenly realized that the whole Twin Flame industry has it backwards. They are selling people what they want and not what they need. This journey simply isn’t about the fairy-tale love and I am not just saying that because I don’t have it.
To be honest as soon as I reached full inner union within, with my own soul, my twin and I started coming into energetic union as well. Both the healers and I were surprised to witness this dynamic, because there was like no time-lag. It happened instantly within the same sessions. Does this mean he will leave his wife? I don’t know, there is certainly some indications on his side that things are shifting and astrologically 2020 opens a window of opportunity for us in regards to coming together as a couple. I have certainly reached a place on my Twin Flame journey that I know that I have become a person that can have and will be able to hold a Divine partnership connection and 5th dimensional union.
The whole reason why I am sharing our journey with you in this way is to show you that even if physical union does NOT happen, you have wasted NOTHING. I know so many of you are so afraid to move forward on this journey, because you aren’t sure if this person is your Twin Flame or not. You doubt yourself and you doubt your connection. You are afraid to invest money in what may turn out to be a fantasy. I hear ya.
I have spent OBSCENE amounts of money on my own healing and working with mentors and whether I end up with my Twin Flame or not in a romantic relationship does not define the return on investment I have received – because that has been priceless even despite the fact that he and I are currently not together or maybe never will be.
Trust me, you simply cannot go wrong on this journey when you focus on yourself and your own inner union. If you and your person are truly meant to be, union with the twin will slide in by itself but you will not be stressing about it anymore because you will be living a live that you absolutely LOVE whether your Twin Flame is there with you to share it or not. It’s when we can reach that level of detachment to the outcome, that often our deepest heart’s desires have the space they need to manifest in the physical.
One thing I can tell you for sure, is that as long as you crave your twin as much as a junkie craves a line of cocaine – you are energetically REPELLING the very thing you want. This is what all the healing work is about to shift you out of this desperate and needy energy that is triggered so deeply within a Twin Flame connection. Your soul has been on a long journey throughout time and space and is lugging so much past (vibrational) baggage with it, also from previous lifetimes.
Meeting your Twin Flame brings up a process that allows you (read leaves you no option but) to release all this subconscious gunk and sludge, so that when you are ready for the Hieros Gamos (the sacred marriage) you come pure and innocent to the altar of Divine love. Only through shedding these past lower vibe frequencies, can you have the eternal bliss you dream of with your Divine counterpart. Because if left unchecked all you will manifest is one BIG trigger fest, which is also why I discourage products and services that try to force union the woo-woo way because you simply CANNOT bypass this spiritual purging process. It’s what makes union possible in the first place, both the inner union with your soul and true Twin Flame union with the beloved depend on your return to innocence (your subconscious perception of yourself) and healing your subconscious wounds in the process.
I pray that sharing my journey as intimately as I have with you today, helps you understand what this journey is truly about. I am not saying there will be no happy end and that it is all just a process of spiritual growth… What I am saying is that you have to do the work and just like the weight loss journey, doesn’t always lead to a ripped gym fit body – it doesn’t mean that the journey was a waste. It just means that you have a little bit more tweaking you need to do in your diet maybe or at the gym. Or maybe you need to search even deeper for the underlying cause. But in the end it’s about loving yourself and your body no matter what the scale says or in the Twin Flame analogy – no matter what your relationship status is because it DOESN’T DEFINE YOU or YOUR WORTH.