In this soul teaching on how doubt is killing your Twin Flame connection and what to do about it, you will learn:
One of the BIGGEST obstacles on the Twin Flame journey is DOUBT. There is nothing that slows you down or throws you off track, as when you let doubt creep in. Doubt rears its ugly head everywhere; making you question your sanity, the connection, your intuition, your Soul, the Universe and so on.
If you allow it doubt will make you question pretty much everything and as long as you do, it will be incredibly difficult to move forward in your Twin Flame connection – because you will be caught in confusion and won’t know which way to go:
Up or down…
Left or right…
Which is what we will discuss in detail in this article, how your doubt is keeping you utterly stuck on your Twin Flame journey and will keep you going in circles over and over again if you don’t overcome it.
This is your initiation in trust
As Twin Flames we are all taking our initiation in TRUST.
Doubt shows up in so many different ways on this journey, which is why we need to address them all so you can see how one and the same energy disguises itself behind many different faces. It really doesn’t matter how doubt manifests itself in your connection, what matters is how to move past it. Doubt is an initiation in trust and that is one of the BIGGEST challenges we face on the Twin Flame journey, to come back to trust. Trusting your intuition, trusting your Soul, trusting the Universe & Divine timing and trusting your Divine counterpart.
Everyone dreams of the illusive Twin Flame union, oneness with the twin, but without trusting all those named above in exactly that order, both inner union and it’s outer reflection with the beloved will forever stay out of reach. You HAVE TO overcome doubt, to reach union because you simply CANNOT unify with anything or anyone that you don’t trust.
‘But I do trust my twin’, you might be thinking to yourself….
First of all if you don’t trust yourself, your intuition and your Soul first, you can’t come into inner union to begin with, no matter how much you think you trust your twin.
Secondly, girl pleassse! Who do you think you are fooling here?! Wait till your twin hooks up with someone else, when you see them on a pic with someone else, when they get engaged, married or have their first child with someone else. It’s easy to think you trust someone when they do what you want or at least don’t do what you don’t want them to.
But what happens to your trust when you are faced with any of the above situations?
It crumbles and doubt creeps in.
These situations are an initiation in trust because they force you to stick to what you feel to be the truth. To trust your intuition and all the signs the Universe gives you despite everything looking lost in your physical reality. That is when you can really demonstrate trust and faith, when you have no effing other choice but to stick with your gut feeling on this.
Or you let doubt take you out and below are some of the ways that doubt creeps in on this journey, especially when what we sense and what we witness as our outer reality are miles and miles apart. Which to an old 3D paradigm programmed mind, is a total mind-f*ck. We have been so strongly indoctrinated to believe that what we witness in the physical is THE ultimate reality, when what we experience in the physical is merely the outer reflection of what we hold to be true inside of us, including our deepest subconscious fears and false beliefs. Change the inner belief system and you change your outer reality.
What if I am just crazy or obsessive compulsive?
But because this rift between what you feel to be the truth and what your physical reality is reflecting back to you is such a mind-f*ck; One of the first ways that doubt shows up is through doubting your own sanity. This is the NUMBER ONE doubt every Twin Flame has to overcome, self doubt. Whether that is thinking things like ‘Am I just making this up?, ‘Is it all just in my head?‘, ‘Am I going crazy?‘ ‘Am I obsessed with this person?’, ‘Am I losing it?‘, ‘Is this whole Twin Flame thing even real?!‘ and so on…
Hardcore rationalists (our favorite left-brainers) may also seek a more evidence based explanation such as limerence:
‘Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one’s feelings reciprocated.
Limerence can also be defined as an involuntary state of intense romantic desire. Scientists have found that people in so-called limerent states have low levels of serotonin—a neurotransmitter in the brain that affects mood—akin to people with obsessive–compulsive disorder.’
But don’t worry you aren’t love sick or mentally ill, your soul is pulling you into the next step of your soul’s evolution and it’s using your twin as the bait to lure you in. To better understand the spiritual aspect of the Twin Flame journey, please download the free Ultimate Guide to Inner Union if you haven’t already done so. In this in-depth guide to the Twin Flame journey I explain why meeting your Twin Flame is not just about creating a fairy-tale romance, but instead offers you your fast-track to Ascension. It’s because your soul calls the shots, that there is no way off of this roller coaster ride once you are on it, no matter how much your ego screams and shouts. You are not going crazy, you are merely venturing into unknown territory. You are the front line in the Ascension process.
Now isn’t that a more pleasant explanation than believing you’ve gone bonkers and there is something terribly wrong with you?!
For eons and eons we have been conditioned to only trust what we can see, measure, scientifically prove, etc, that’s how things worked in the Piscean age, the old 3D paradigm. As planet Earth is ascending into a higher consciousness and dimension known as the Aquarian age, we need new skills and those all rely heavily on us trusting ourselves, trusting our intuition, trusting our Souls and trusting the Universe. The Twin Flame experience teaches us all of the above if we can successfully deprogram all the old 3D paradigm programming of seeking proof, which is standing in the way of shifting into the higher state of consciousness and being that is available to us now.
In fact if you are on the Twin Flame path, you are a pioneer in this dimensional shift. You are a member of the 5D transition team. It may not feel like it now, but you signed up for this. Your soul was very psyched at this opportunity to lead the way and volunteered to be part of the BIG SHIFT as it is called, ushering in the next evolutionary phase of planet Earth and humankind.
Reading all this you might think well she is crazy, making some kind of spiritual mission out of a love relationship that didn’t even really get off the ground – but think about it. If your soul is the one in charge and not your ego, wouldn’t it make sense (be logical) that the spiritual aspect of this journey takes precedence over the romantic side of it? Spirituality doesn’t cancel out reason, it amplifies it. When things are aligned to the Divine, it makes even more sense and fits perfectly (aka Divine perfection). So it’s not that we are abandoning reason, we learn to reason from a higher perspective, the soul’s perspective and that changes the whole picture.
Maybe this is my ‘false’ Twin Flame or just a soul mate……?
Then when things do not move along romantically as we would like them to or in some connection NEVER moved at all (the twin has not reciprocated the feelings) we doubt the connection. We ask ourselves could this be my false Twin Flame, a catalyst or maybe just a (higher-level) soul mate?
Because if this was my Twin Flame, why doesn’t he or she recognize me? Why don’t they want to be with me in the way I want to be with them? Why don’t they reciprocate my feelings? Why do they stay with someone else? Why do they marry or start a family with someone else? How can this person stand another day without me in it?
I must have been wrong about the connection then….
Romance, the presence or absence of it in your connection says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about the spiritual depth of your connection. It’s like trying to measure distance or length with a scale, a scale can only measure an object’s weight and nothing else. A scale can’t measure distance and it also can’t tell you anything about the size, length or width of the object that you are weighing. It’s an inaccurate tool to use in these cases, romance is in the same way the wrong yardstick for measuring progress or verifying the connection in the first place.
Did you know that most Twin Flames have not been physically intimate with their Divine counterpart initially, that is what makes this connection so mind boggling, because how can you be so sure that this person is THE ONE if you haven’t even ever touched, kissed or made love to each other?
It blew my twin’s mind that he had all these strong feelings for this older woman, that he had never met and even banging a girl his age couldn’t make him forget me. He had never even touched or kissed me – yet I was the last person he thought of falling asleep at night. By the way he didn’t tell me that until eight months after he first ran and after that he ran some more…
That was February 2015, by August 2015 my twin confessed how much I meant to him as well, a couple of days later he ran despite knowing that I was coming to India and he refused to speak to me until I was there. I had to get on a plane not knowing if he would be happy to see me or not, forced to trust what he had told me on the phone months before – despite him refusing to talk to me now. When we met in India which wasn’t immediately either, we were sleeping in each other’s arms within days, despite the fact that if he would have gotten caught in my bed in the parent’s house of his best friend, his family would have killed him.
Guess what happened after that? Even though he had admitted that if it was up to him alone, we would already be together and have a child, he shut me out of his life and married someone else (a year later) because his familial, cultural and social conditioning had programmed him to follow the traditions he was brought up in. These traditions dictate arranged marriages, where the family picks the bride to be that they want as an addition to the family. What the guy wants isn’t really that important.
This journey is FILLED with moments of doubt and it is just something you will have to learn to deal with. It is superficial AF to think that because romance got delayed or seems to be off the table, that you are suddenly not Divine counterparts anymore. Divine partnerships are not defined by romance, they are defined by the depth of their spiritual connection and that is something that takes time to fully come into being. For example by August 2018 my twin was asking me how his third eye could be opening, when he wasn’t meditating or praying or doing anything else to open it. After giving a general answer, that he rejected – I told him that he was energetically connected to me and that I had done massive inner work since we last saw each other (December 2015). He immediately replied with, ‘I knew it had something to do with you!’
The Twin Flame connection is a spiritual connection, a soul connection. This does not mean, you can’t have romance, it just means that you have to go through the spiritual process first – because that is the ESSENCE of your connection. Wanting a romantic outcome is an ego desire, the soul craves union too but on a completely different level. It craves true union, not just romantic bliss. It’s just that your ego fears that it won’t get the romance and it doesn’t really know (trust) that true union supersedes its childish desires.
Wait, let me trust someone else’s knowing…..
(because I don’t trust my own)
What do people do who don’t trust themselves AND doubt the connection? They seek outside validation, which is a booming industry within the Twin Flame scene. If there is one thing that we have way TOO MANY of, it’s Twin Flame psychics and tarot readers. Now don’t get me wrong a good psychic or tarot reader can give you valuable information but what they truly suck at is confirming the connection and predicting timelines (union), which they can’t because union is not a given. It’s a state of consciousness one has to create from within, something I teach my students in the Inner Union Program in The School of Inner Union.
If you ask 10 psychics if this is your Twin Flame or not, you will get a mixed bag of answers, some will say yes and some will say no. It’s pretty much like playing Russian Roulette with your emotions, because at least one if not more of these psychics or readers are going to tell you this is NOT your Twin Flame. How do I know? I have seen it happen over and over again and spoke to so many distraught people, who were told this wasn’t their Divine counterpart. It’s truly devastating to hear this.
I remember contacting one woman in the beginning when I was still trying to find the right healers, who told me that my twin was out of embodiment and the person that I believed to be my Twin Flame was the only person pure enough to channel my REAL twin’s energy. Needless to say she and I never worked together because I came to her for a healing session, not her opinion about if this person was my Twin Flame or not. I can’t tell you how many healers have absolutely no clue about Twin Flames at all, I have heard the most ridiculous things. One healer told me she had had many Twin Flames herself, what she meant was that young men were into her, for crying out loud. Don’t go to other people to confirm your connection, get it confirmed from above that is the best confirmation that you can get.
Because I’ll be honest, about 30% of the people who think they have met their Twin Flame have been wrong about it more than once. I held a poll a little while ago and close to a whopping third of the respondents admitted to having identified someone other than the current person as their Twin Flame. Many Twin Flame teachers that I know, have gone through the same process and have over time introduced a new person as their Twin Flame. So, if this is you – it’s okay. It happens more often.
The best way to get 100% accurate confirmation of your Twin Flame connection is to ask the Divine, your Soul and the Universe.
A simple fool-proof test that thousands of my readers have used to confirm their connection can be found here:
Click here for the Fool-proof confirmation of your Twin Flame connection
It is really 100% accurate and fool-proof, if you are ready to face the truth. Those people who didn’t get their sign have been the ones that were not in a Twin Flame connection to begin with. Don’t play games with yourself and make things mean to mean something they don’t, the technique is uber simple; three signs (the same one) in three (consecutive) days. I have people messaging me all the time, if this or that deviation meant they got their sign or not and my answer is ALWAYS that if they stick to the instructions they will either get their sign or not, there is NO in-between.
Is this all some cruel cosmic joke?!
And once you get your sign from the Divine, you have to trust it which surprise surprise will bring up all your deeper subconscious wounding from this lifetime and previous lifetimes where you felt that the Divine, God, the Universe or your Soul let you down.
These are some of the issues we tackle in the Akasha Healing Journeys™ that I offer, in these sessions I guide you deep into your subconscious programming and past life experiences in order to remove the subconscious fears and false beliefs that are keeping you locked into the old 3D paradigm.
On the Twin Flame journey you get bombarded with signs, number sequences, you see your twin’s name everywhere and it only gets worse if you try to move on. The Universe will unleash everything it’s got when you try to walk away, just to make you stay but for what?
I remember in 2015 every time I was ready to call it quits I would run into the same person out of nowhere, my male midwife who helped me deliver my youngest child. I had not seen him since 2007 and out of nowhere I run into him in my local super market, right after I had uninstalled Viber the app my twin and I used to chat after he had starting running for the umpteenth time without any warning (I had no clue back then either). At that time I had felt a baby soul around me and my twin and so each time that I would bump into the midwife it seemed a pretty strong message to hang in there.
But signs don’t always mean what we think they mean, they are more the Universes way of communicating with us. My twin and I obviously didn’t have a child together, but it was that same year that I was invited to India and we ended up sleeping in each others arms. It was that year that we got to feel how real our feelings for each other were, also in real life.
Time itself is a 3D concept and so we tend to think that all these signs mean UNION is going to happen now, but the thing is that true union can only happen when you have understood what true union is and stripped it of all your romantic illusions. True Twin Flame union is such a deep inner knowing of oneness, that there is no doubt left. Which sounds easy, but it takes time to heal all the subconscious aspects within yourself that are misaligned to this inner state of being. It’s not something that is there one moment and gone the next, it is a constant state that is no longer hindered by outer circumstances because the truth has been seen.
Of course if you are waiting for your romantic happy end to fall out of the sky and bop you on the head, then all the signs and synchs may seem like a cruel cosmic joke and you will likely be waiting forever. I personally see the signs and synchs as confirmation that I am going in the right direction. Some people think they are the ones manifesting their own signs, but that is just more doubt and fear rearing its ugly head. It means you don’t believe in a higher power guiding you and that you control your reality, which is FAR besides the truth. Your reality is a continuous bleed-through of past pain and trauma that you are PLAYING out in your reality in an attempt to heal it. All the people, places, and experiences you attract into your life are coming from these unhealed subconscious wounds stemming from your childhood and previous lifetimes. Psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung already said: ‘Until you make the subconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.’ Control is an illusion the ego revels in, but that doesn’t make it any less of an illusion.
Why the label actually doesn’t matter
Because the Twin Flame journey is not just about romance, sex, orgasms and what not, your Soul and higher self is very involved in this process, continually guiding you forward on your journey at the level that you are capable of understanding. Whatever it takes for you to keep moving towards the BIG SHIFT within yourself, is used to get you there and your twin is the big juicy bait that your soul is dangling in front of you in order to get you to do the inner soul work. You are just going to have to trust that what your soul has in store for you is better, than what you are hoping for and quite frankly you have no other choice, because your soul wants this quantum leap in consciousness and it won’t budge.
Your soul is not worried about getting your dick or pussy wet (pardon my bluntness), because it has mastered that concept throughout lifetimes and lifetimes. The same is true for romantic bliss, this isn’t your first time down on planet Earth honey – your soul has been there, done that and bought the T shirt. What it hasn’t done recently is make a dimensional quantum leap in consciousness and that is what it wants to do in this lifetime, that is why you agreed to meet up with various different people in this lifetime such as your soul family, soul mates, karmic partners and your Twin Flame.
Which is why the label doesn’t actually matter, because it tends to limit your conception of this experience. Especially new comers to the Twin Flame journey, tend to think that it is only connected to the romantic aspect of their life. Instead the Twin Flame journey touches ALL areas of your life. It’s also not about the Twin Flame, it’s about YOU. It’s about you becoming the highest expression of yourself and by doing so you become the person you need to be to be able to HAVE Twin Flame union. However, Twin Flame union is not the grand prize of this endeavor, it’s the byproduct. The grand prize is becoming who you are and were always meant to be on a soul level.
Don’t want that? You’d prefer to have romance instead?
Tough titties because this is what you get.
Now, I remember way back when, when I would think or say ‘F*ck the spirituality, I just want to be with my twin!‘ So if this is where you are at, don’t get upset, because this is EXACTLY the state of consciousness and state of being that this journey is meant to move you out of – the identification with your ego and 3D personality. This is not who you really are, this is the sum up of who you believe to be based on all your unhealed subconscious fears and false beliefs.
Underneath all that past life gunk and sludge, underneath all that old paradigm 3D conditioning is the true you and that is what the Twin Flame journey is meant to bring to the surface. Because inner union is in fact the union of your soul with the ego and the 3D self, it’s fully embodying the soul in the physical and coming back to our natural state of Oneness. That inner state of being, being reflected back to us in the physical is where Twin Flame union comes in.
Don’t worry your soul has been preparing for this moment in time, since forever. It did not come unprepared.
Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis
We have covered a lot of ground in this article, give yourself time to let it all sink in but don’t over-think this either, because before you know it you will get stuck in analysis paralysis.
Analysis paralysis is a mental state of over-analyzing (or over-thinking) a situation to the extent that a decision or action is never taken, thereby paralyzing the outcome.
This is what SO MANY Twin Flames do to themselves on this journey and it keeps them going in circles. It really doesn’t matter if this person is your Twin Flame or not. It doesn’t matter if they reciprocate your feelings or not. It doesn’t matter if you will end up married or not and so on.
Because you can’t lose by raising your vibrational frequency. You can’t lose by healing your childhood and past life wounds and trauma. You can’t lose by working towards your Ascension. If you can take your mind off of the effing romantic outcome for just a little while, you could transform your whole life beyond recognition. You will feel better, look better, eat better, sleep better, have better relationships, more fulfilling work, have more money, more fun, more freedom, more happiness, more bliss, and experience some REAL earth shattering orgasms while you are at it (I’m not joking!).
The world is your oyster and here you are obsessing about if this is your Twin Flame or not?! Or if they love you or not?! Can you see how ridiculous that is? Because you know what, Ascension is for everyone, healing is for everyone, raising your vibrational frequency is for everyone. You do not have to BE a Twin Flame to be able to join in. You don’t have to have met your Twin Flame to qualify and you know what else? Everybody has a Twin Flame, we aren’t always scheduled to meet them in this lifetime – but we are all part of a Divine couple. So stop making such a massive DRAMA out of this journey and get busy. Take action.
Take action, you literally can’t go wrong
Seriously take action, forget about the romance for now it will come when the time is right and yes you will have to trust your Soul and the Divine to bring in what is yours in Divine time. But that’s just part of this overall process, learning to trust your SOUL 100% no matter where it takes you.
So book a session with a healer, even if it’s maybe the wrong one. Remember the lady that told me my twin was NOT my twin, that session made me decide once and for all that this was my Twin Flame beyond a shadow of a doubt and that was great training. Because guess what happened when my twin married someone else? People started saying, well maybe this is not your real twin. Nowadays depending on which way the wind blows within the Twin Flame community, people lash out at me to tell me I’m not even on the Twin Flame journey (they don’t like it when I snatch away the candy, aka romance). I can now simply smile and say next, when 3 to 4 years ago I would hurt deep inside when someone said that because I still had wounding around that, that would get triggered. Even two years ago it would still sting just a little.
Everything is always happening for your highest good, so go for it. You literally can’t lose and you have SO MUCH to gain. I pray this article serves and helps you snap out of analysis paralysis and it to forward movement. Trust me if this person belongs to you, doing the REAL inner work such as I teach in the Inner Union Soul Alchemy program will get you to where your Soul wants to be and your Twin Flame in your life EXACTLY how they are meant to be. You will be totally okay with whatever that looks like because you trust your Soul. By then you realize that you have gained so much more from this connection than romance could have ever brought you, or that you even held possible when starting out on this journey.
It’s all leading to this one place, a return to trust. Where there is trust, there is no doubt.