In this soul teaching on how healing YOUR wounds helps your Twin Flame heal their wounds-even when it looks like nothing is shifting, you will learn:
All Twin Flame dogma aside, one thing that you can really count on when you have met your Twin Flame is that you are each other’s exact matching vibrational frequency not just for now, or for a couple of years, not even just for this lifetime but throughout eternity.
Because you are this EXACT vibrational frequency match and are blueprinted that way, any jump in frequency you make has to be followed by your vibrational frequency twin, aka your Twin Flame because otherwise you would not match each other’s vibrational frequency anymore which is the core essence of your connection to each other.
There might be a slight time lag between your jump in frequency and that of your twin, but if you really did make that jump they will as well within around 6 – 12 months maximum.
No, that does not mean that you will be together as a (romantic) couple in that said time period, this journey is not primarily about romance. If you are not sure why this is not just another ‘boy meets girl’ love story please download the free Ultimate Guide to Inner Union to better understand the Twin Flame journey.
In fact using romance as a yard stick, to measure how well your Twin Flame connection is progressing is in fact the worst tool to assess progress on this journey. That is like trying to measure length with a scale, it can’t be done. A scale measures weight, not length or height.
It may seem like Twin Flames together in a romantic relationship are further along than those who are not, but this is an illusion. The souls use distance and closeness to trigger the twin couples mutual wounding and in fact a longer period of separation, can actually foster a more harmonious being together when the twin pair does become a romantic couple.
The more they have been able to clear while apart, the less that get’s triggered while together.
So don’t think you are doing something wrong if you and your twin are out of contact, you are just on a different part of your journey than those twins who are already together .
Why this certainly doesn’t seem to be the case
One of the biggest fears of the Divine Feminine, next to ‘him’ not being her twin after all or not having the romantic outcome she craves – is the fear that she does all this healing and it was all for naught, because of la-la-la-la [Fill in the blank].
And you can’t blame them because there are two things at play that make this fear seem very real in their 3D experience of the physical reality they live in.
The first is very cliche, but still applies so much to men these days and that is that they have been so strongly conditioned to hide their true emotions out of fear of being ridiculed or being seen as less of a man.
This leads to above image in which no matter if a guy is dying inside, unless you know him really well and he feels safe with you, he is not going to show you his inner turmoil.
For example I recently spoke to my twin’s best friend for the very first time since my twin got married to someone else over a year ago. The friend had not wanted to get caught in the middle and put his relationship with me on hold, until he felt things had blown over. Little did he know, right? He was shocked to hear that even after marriage my twin’s feelings for me had not blown over and so I said to him that things had actually not worked out as my twin was not happy in his marriage. The best friend said ‘He looks happy to me.’
Men often not only don’t show their emotions in their facial expression like women, they also find it much more difficult to read the emotions showed in facial expression (Which has been scientifically researched read more about it here).
So chances are your twin will ‘look’ fine as if he has no issues – but that actually doesn’t say anything about how he feels deep inside.
My twin told me his coping mechanism the last time we talked and that was to bury himself in his work and not allow himself to think about things because he feared a depression if he allowed it all to get to him. My twin is not unique in dealing with his problems in this way, it is a very typical way for especially men to deal with their emotions because they never learned how to deal with them properly. They were taught to suck it up and act as a ‘man’ which meant shutting off their emotions.
The other factor that makes it seem like nothing is shifting short term is the fact that energetical shifts and that is what healing work comes down to – it’s deeply shifting your energy, takes time to work through in the physical.
Just like when you plant a seed it takes time to grow and doesn’t show any signs of growth until it starts breaking through the earth surface. It doesn’t mean nothing is happening underground though, it just means you can’t see the growth yet because if you would dig up the seed to check it’s growth you would likely kill it. So you leave it untouched and trust that it will at some point grow above the earth surface and become what it is meant to be.
When it comes to our Twin Flame connection we are often scratching in the dirt, digging up those sprouting seeds because we don’t trust the process and killing our progress through our fear that our seeds aren’t taking root.
Why? Because the vibrational frequency of fear undoes all our hard work we did in raising our vibrational frequency in the first place. Even if we made a quantum shift in frequency, we knock ourselves x levels back when we allow fear to get the best of us.
Fear is just the ultimate Debbie Downer to your vibrational frequency and it takes you out instantly.
How fear shows up and takes you out
Fear shows up in a myriad of ways on the Twin Flame journey, yet no matter how it shows up – it is always BS.
I’ll tell you why, because there is in fact NOTHING happening outside of you.
Everything you are witnessing as your external reality i.e. your day to day life is a reflection of what YOU believe and hold to be true inside of you.
I have had people refuse to do the inner work because, their twin was currently with someone else and they didn’t want the new person benefiting from all the hard work they would do on themselves and that would have a knock-on effect on the twin. In other words they didn’t want their twin to become a better person and have someone else reap the rewards of that. So they chose rather to stay stuck in hell, not understanding that if they actually really did make that vibrational shift their twin would not choose to stay with a so called ‘karmic’ partner.
It all starts with you, if you don’t move then you will just stay stuck.
Also here there are two things to take into account.
The first is that the Divine feminine goes first in the Twin Flame process, but watch out even if you were born with a punani and breasts to match – it doesn’t mean you are automatically the Divine feminine. Some couples have the dynamic reversed and same sex couples will have the same gender obviously but one will be the Divine feminine and the other the Divine masculine, no matter what they are or aren’t packing down there.
So if you are the Divine feminine in your Twin Flame relationship, you take the lead in the healing process and you simply can’t wait for your Divine masculine to go first because that is just not part of the soul agreement you made. He promised to trigger the living sh*t out of you. He also chose to be more or less consciously oblivious to the Twin Flame process, in order to be able to play his part and you agreed to be the one consciously aware of the connection and process forging ahead in the healing process, which helps your twin go through the same shift but then having no clue whatsoever what is happening.
Kind of like ‘Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards and in high heels’ but in Twin Flame lingo it’s ‘The Divine masculine goes through everything the Divine feminine goes through, but then blindfolded and from the opposite perspective.’
Just because your twin is not consciously aware of the connection or the healing process doesn’t make him/her not an active participant on your mutual journey (another big fear). They just play a different role than you do, they are experiencing everything you are from the opposite perspective.
The other factor that will keep you STUCK (in capitols) on your journey is waiting, ladies.
The Universe does nothing with waiting except put everything on God d*mn hold! Now waiting is a very sneaky frequency, because chances are you are still somewhat in waiting mode despite the fact that you are actively out there moving ahead, grabbing life by the balls and creating a reality you love.
So, you need to be very vigilant and catch yourself when you are in waiting mode because it is a surefire recipe to get NOWHERE fast.
The Twin Flame journey is paradoxically not about waiting till your twin changes their mind and comes back to you. It is about you becoming ALL that you are meant to be and that drumroll please….., forces him to become ALL he is meant to be.
When he becomes all he is meant to be, he ain’t going to settle for less than a partner who is f*cking standing in her power and shining her light so BIG – it’s visible in other galaxies.
Any previous relationship he had with someone else will disappear into thin air, because he and that person now life in two different vibrational realities.
Florence Scovel Shinn talks about this phenomenon in her book Your word is your wand.
‘Unless marriage is built upon the rock of oneness it cannot stand; “Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.”
The poet understood this, for unless man and wife are living the same thoughts (or living in the same thought world), they must inevitably drift apart.
Thought is a tremendous vibratory force and man is drawn to his thought creations.’
This applies whether your twin is or isn’t in a relationship with someone else. Because you have the exact same vibrational frequency blueprint – when you step into your greatness, it will pull him to step up into his greatness as well.
Just so we are all clear on what waiting looks like…
- It’s getting psychic readings constantly to see where he is at
- It’s waiting for Divine timing New moons, Full moons, eclipses, galactic gateways and what not
- It’s reading weekly forecasts, yes even the ones written by Cassady Cayne…..
- It’s watching YouTube readings just trying to figure out when he will be back
- and so on….
It is everything where you are not getting your *ss aligned to who you truly are and ALL that you are meant to be and that should be YOUR ONLY FOCUS because that is what reaching the finish line of this journey looks like.
The finish line is not romantic bliss with your twin.
We simply did not incarnate in this life only to experience how great it is to have sex with our Twin Flame and surprisingly when you have done your inner work, sex is taken to a COMPLETE new level.
Honey, once you have unf*cked yourself from believing in your own limitedness – you will understand the true meaning of bliss!
So why can’t you just have romance first and figure all the rest out later?
How have your romantic relationships worked out for you so far? Have you gotten what you wanted from love?
I know your answer is going to be ‘No’, because otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article.
Just really simple – If your current outside reality reflects what you believe and hold to be true inside of you, which is how this Universe works – then all your previous romantic relationships were a reflection of what you believed and held to be true about love and the opposite sex (same sex partners of course for lesbians and gays).
This would also mean that unless you upgrade those beliefs and released your fears and false beliefs, your romantic relationship with your Twin Flame would be a copy of those previous relationships multiplied by 10 – because the Twin Flame connection magnifies everything x fold to help you bring it into your conscious awareness so that it can be healed.
In short your dreams of Heaven on Earth would be shattered and unattainable because you are still running on the outdated romantic love program which is incompatible with the higher love programming that you and your twin are bringing in on planet Earth.
It’s like trying to run iOS (Apple software) on your Android phone, two completely different operating systems that are not compatible.
When I was in New York recently I had to work through a massive teenage trauma from this lifetime that was connected to one of my core wound past lives. This traumatic experience heavily linked to the States where I grew up, despite being Dutch had left me feeling unsafe in the world. My mother and I were part of a church organisation that was preparing for a nuclear apocalypse in the late ’80’s.
Reliving this trauma and allowing all my repressed fear to be felt also created a pivotal shift between me and my twin.
Above all it showed me why I have not been with a partner for the past 9,5 years or so or why I couldn’t have been with my twin before this. Because until I shifted this deep pattern inside of me, I would have recreated the same relationship dynamic I have had with my previous partners which had not worked with them either.
In order to align to the higher expression of love I am wanting to call into my life, this deep wounding had to be healed. I was actually on a business trip to New York, that funnily enough brought me to the place I had last been just before the trauma occurred. It was the last place I had been this carefree and fun-loving teenager and it was almost as if I had to go back to the States where I hadn’t been all these years since last visiting my mother there as a 15 year old, to retrieve that lost inner child aspect of me.
I have never had daddy issues in the classical way, the oldest guy I have ever been with was mid thirties. Yet because of that teenage trauma I would look for a daddy to protect me in my romantic relationships. Both of my parents basically fed me to the wolves as a teenager unintentionally of course. They both wanted the best for me – it just played out differently. So by the time I was 16 I moved in with my first serious boyfriend and later to be husband who then raised me as his wife/daughter. Definitely what I needed as a 16 year old, but of course leading to massive clashes as I did start maturing and seeking autonomy.
Marriage number two wasn’t as completely dysfunctional as this first one, but those subconscious inner child wounds wreaked havoc anyway because you simply cannot have an adult love relationship with a 15 year old terrified little girl inside of you that you are not even aware of carrying with you.
With that 15 year old inner child healed and reintegrated I can for the first time in my life have an equal relationship with a partner, instead of creating a parent-child kind of dynamic in my love life which now finally opens up the possibility to have the love experience I seek with my twin or someone better.
How can you be sure your twin will shift too?
Although it can seem hard to assess where your twin is at in their process, given that you won’t find much evidence in 3D, I find the Universe is ingenious in the way it will keep you in the loop of your twins progress mirroring back your own shifts in energy.
You do not have to go out of your way to get this info, it will come to you.
As soon as you go looking for this confirmation you are shifting back into fear, which is the equivalent of digging up the seeds to check if they are taking root (which actually unroots them).
So don’t go to psychics or healers to see where he/she is at, because you aren’t doing this for them or to get them back. You are doing this for you and to create the reality experience that reflects back to you what you seek.
After I came back from New York I had a session with a coach I work with every now and then, who looks at our current energy and the things I need to work on in myself. I had booked the session before I left for New York, to see where I am at now in my process and where there are still internal blocks that I need to address. She of course also taps into his energy and it will likely not surprise you that as I was working out my inner child issues in the States – he is currently working out this exact dynamic in his marriage where his wife (my ultimate stand in) is massively repelling him by trying to work out her daddy issues with him.
In other words he is working on releasing his side of the dynamic which have made him a vibrational match for women with daddy issues, as I am releasing my patterning that made me want my partner to show up as a daddy for my previously terrified teenager who was told the world was going to end.
Every time I make a massive shift in vibrational frequency, one to two weeks later I will work with a client who will then reflect back to me that my twin is making that shift as well. The client will either be Indian, facing the same issues as my twin or it is the exact same breakthrough one of my male clients makes that I had just made myself. To be honest only 5% of my clients are guys (so I don’t get to work with them often), so it is even more unique that sessions that have been scheduled out for weeks then seem to perfectly reflect shifts I didn’t even know I would be making at the time they were booked.
In another session recently the healer asked my twin to show her if he had a message for me and he showed her something that seemed random and made no sense to her, it wouldn’t make sense to most – unless you know the Indian culture to which my twin is born, because then you would understand how pivotal it was what he showed her. It was such a conformation of how deeply our energies are shifting and confirmed that me be willing to face my deepest fears, was inspiring him to face his own deepest fears.
The thing is that we need to learn to see these vague not yet manifested in the physical signs of the energy shifting, as the plant growing under the soil and about to break through the earth surface. Yet, often we doubt them because they haven’t fully manifested. They don’t look like a big plant yet. You can’t see the full end result at this moment, but that does not mean that the energy is not deeply shifting.
So instead of focusing on where he/she is at, focus on yourself and stepping into that greater version of you because doing that is like tending your garden and making sure that the seeds you have planted will grow in their own time through the loving care that you give.
In fact I have noticed every time I start to randomly obsess about him out of nowhere and with full on intensity, it’s my own wounds pulling me into my healing. It also happened just before New York and I had no intention of going into my own wounds over there. Geeze I thought I had already healed this, I had no idea there was a deeper layer of trapped emotions that needed to be released.
I had come to attend an event and work with clients, I had no clue New York would trigger the hell out of me leading to massive panic attacks and vomiting all over the freaking place.
It just goes to show you how guided an perfectly designed this journey is. I could have not healed this dynamic in a relationship, because my subconscious pattern was to make my partner a parent. My twin who had never been in a serious relationship when we met, could not have worked out his end of the dynamic without being in a marriage first where all of this got triggered.
Romantic relationships based on daddy or mommy issues hardly ever get transformed into equal partnerships, instead they lead to one of the partners outgrowing the dynamic. Which makes this a dynamic that you can hardly heal while being together as a couple.
Even if my twin and I don’t end up in a romantic relationship, I get what I want anyway because no matter who comes into my life now as a lover, they will resonate at the frequency of equal partnership and higher love because unlike when I met my Twin Flame – I now resonate at this frequency.
I can now give equality in a relationship because I re-parented my terrified inner teenager and I don’t need to have a partner show up as a parent anymore, to make her feel safe.
I hope and pray that sharing my story with you will support you on your journey with your beloved. Though each journey looks different, some things are the same for everyone and that applies to this dynamic for example.
If this person is truly your Twin Flame you don’t ever need to fear that he or she won’t be able to keep up with you, because your wiring (the vibrational blueprint you share) – is rigged that way.
If you really shift, your twin will shift too.