In this soul teaching on your BIGGEST Twin Flame obstacle is custom designed to trigger your DEEPEST soul wound, you will learn:
Every Twin Flame couple faces Twin Flame obstacles, some obstacles are easily overcome and others are tenacious and seem to be designed to keep the couple apart indefinitely. Although every couple has their unique blend of obstacles, these are the basic standard obstacles that the Twin Flame pair chooses from as part of their Ascension process and Twin Flame journey:
- a large age difference
- long distance between them
- cultural differences
- religious differences
- racial differences
- unethical relationships (doctor/patient, lawyer/client, employer/employee, etc.)
- class differences
- a different sexual orientation (one is gay, the other heterosexual)
- same sex twins
- mental illness or addiction (read this article here to find out why these are obstacles)
- existing or new third party relationships
- death/disembodiment (not being alive in this lifetime)
It’s these obstacles that SEEM to make a physical romantic union a challenge and sometimes even impossible, but the truth is that the Twin Flame couple voluntarily chose their obstacles because overcoming them would propel them into inner union, which is the ONLY way to come into true Twin Flame union.
It would seem that those with the least obstacles and quick to come into a physical relationship have mastered a trait that others have not, but this is not true. This is not Twin Flame union, being in a romantic relationship with the person that you have identified as your Twin Flame. Although these unions can be sweet and loving, exceeding what most 3D romantic relationships are capable of becoming – the couple themselves have not undergone the true union process within themselves and therefore the sum of their individually attained state of consciousness and being can never equal true union because this union is lacking WITHIN themselves.
This is of course very subjective, because many people feel they have already attained inner union or generally tend to overestimate where they are in their soul’s evolution – especially within the Twin Flame collective where one equates being ‘awakened’ with recognizing someone as their twin. Trust me, it takes a whole lot more to be able to call yourself awakened.
For example being able to communicate and seek guidance from your higher self is great, but it’s only one facet and when it really comes down to it, do you trust your soul in-explicitly? Will you follow it’s guidance also when it goes against what you want, on an ego and 3D level?
Releasing everywhere, where you are subconsciously pitched against yourself (which requires a lot of past life work) is another part of this inner union process, this aspect is vital in order to bring back lost aspects of the soul that you disowned out of various reasons, aka soul retrieval. However you also need to balance your inner masculine and feminine side, which calls for loads of deprogramming deeply ingrained patriarchal beliefs systems. Add to this a general deprogramming of the fear-based conditioning that is keeping you vibrationally tethered to the old 3D paradigm fear grid and you understand that truly coming into this 5D state of being and union frequency, takes a lot of work.
Just like every other part of creation is ingeniously created to do exactly what it is supposed to do, your Twin Flame obstacles serve to facilitate the above described inner transformation which is not even a complete description of the inner union process. I simply highlighted a couple of the aspects to give you the opportunity to fathom the depth of this transformation process that prepares you for TRUE union and not just a physical and romantic relationship with the twin.
This is also why 99% of the available Twin Flame industry solutions DO NOT WORK because they are geared at coming into a physical romantic relationship and not facilitating this inner union process. Even those that claim to facilitate this deeper work, often offer quick fixes, such as guided meditations and I’m just going to be blunt; if listening to someone guide us through our soul merging with our 3D self would work – we would ALL be in inner union by now. This doesn’t work of course, you can’t vibrationally bypass all the gunk and sludge you carry in your vibrational field. You can’t simply wish it away or tell it to be gone…
You have to face it. You have to own it. You have to understand, your soul’s journey throughout time and space, so that you understand who you really are, not just on a mental level but fully in every cell of your being. Knowing that you are your soul and not your ego as a mental concept, changes jack sh*t. It’s not until you APPLY that knowledge and live it, which is only possible if you have understood the journey your soul has undergone that really allows you to shake the biggest conditioning of them all and that is the human conditioning.
Ain’t no guided meditation that is going to facilitate that shift and also no one waving their magic wand, clearing all your past life karma in one session. Do not let people convince you that they are so powerful, that they can do this because it’s nonsense of course – one big massive ego trip and a misunderstanding of what karma truly is (hint: it’s not payback time from the Universe).
But here comes the beauty of it, all the obstacles you face on the Twin Flame journey chisel away piece by piece all of the conditioning, the programming, the karma, the unresolved trauma. I am currently living on the island of Ibiza, many people know this island as THE party island which is one part of it. Everyone who lives here however, will tell you that Ibiza has a way of bringing up ALL THE SH*T you have been hiding from yourself. There is no way to escape it, the energetic frequency of the island brings to the surface everything that no longer serves you. This energetic frequency may be connected to the rock formation called Es Vedra (my favorite spot on the island), which is said to be the 3rd most magnetic spot in the world after the North and South pole and the Bermuda triangle.
In a same way the high frequency of the Twin Flame connection, coupled with the fact that their is no exit option, has the exact same effect on the Twin Flame couple. It brings up ALL THE SH*T they have been hiding from themselves for eons and eons (that means over all your lifetimes, since your soul split from source). This is also why there is NO EXIT option to the Twin Flame journey, if you could walk away from the person who triggers all your most deepest wounds – what do you think you would do?! You would turn around and walk away, searching for a more easier ‘love’ relationship and you would never discover the truth about yourself or experience true love because you would stay stuck in the old 3D paradigm with it’s fear-based love and toxic romantic love patterns. To ensure that this couldn’t happen, the Twin Flame couple is placed in a close circuit that keeps them in the Ascension process together. This is true, even if it seems that your Divine counterpart has gone rogue on you.
When things aren’t what they seem
Now, you may currently think that you are waiting for your Twin Flame to leave his wife, you may be facing societal’s disapproval because your twin is much older, practices the ‘wrong’ religion, is gay and you are the wrong gender and so on but these obstacles are not what they seem to be. There is a MUCH deeper reason that you and your twin manifested (read chose on a soul level) these EXACT obstacles and it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the 3D stories of your current circumstances – something that you will not find other so called Twin Flame teachers, teach in the way that I do.
I have seen this over and over again with my clients in the Akasha Healing Journeys™, that their Twin Flame obstacles weren’t these random blocks that came out of nowhere. They were also not just a question of not allowing themselves to be together caused by a subconscious fear or false belief. No, what I have come to see is that these obstacles are custom designed to trigger our DEEPEST soul wounds. Wounds we didn’t even know that were there.
Thanks to a couple that are not even necessarily Twin Flames and certainly not spreading high vibrational teachings, many people are caught up in the idea that your Twin Flame is mirroring your own wounds and although this is true on a certain level, what I see happen is that people get stuck in the most superficial interpretations of this concept. For example if the Twin Flame ‘chooses’ to be with someone else, than this must mean that you are also not choosing yourself. This kind of self-help diagnosis is utterly useless because trust me your Twin Flame is not with someone else because you are not choosing yourself either. My toes curl when I read this kind of superficial fluff, that really serves no one.
The reality is that third party relationships serve to bring up the deeper wounding period.
They are a great way to trigger wounds of loss, wounds of rejection, wounds of abandonment and any and all wounds around self-worth and self-love often from previous lifetimes. Our deepest issues simply DO NOT stem from this lifetime, we merely brought them into this lifetime in an attempt to heal them once and for all. The answer to ALL of our issues lies in our past experiences and most of these issues are things we have been chewing on over multiple lifetimes. So, even if it was ‘as simple’ as not choosing yourself, then the origin of the pattern of not choosing yourself is much more complex and lies in an unhealed past life experience. You may have recreated such an experience also in this lifetime, but that was simply because you already carried this pattern inside of you.
A story that stands out in my memory is of a client that kept creating loss in romantic relationships in this lifetime and in previous lifetimes which she saw in the Akasha Healing Journeys™. When taking her back to the original wounding, where this pattern started she saw herself being put in a cupboard as a very young child and being told to stay really quiet. Her parents never came back and from that experience she felt abandoned by her parents and had told herself, that her parents abandoning her meant that she was not lovable. Because why else would her own parents leave her? In the Akashic Record Clearing I helped her see what had happened to her parents, which she had not been able to comprehend when it happened because she was too young.
The client saw that her parents died trying to protect her and this information shifted the whole reality of the experience. She now understood that she had been put in the cupboard because she was precious, not because she was being discarded of – which was her initial interpretation. This is a typical example of a past life inner child wound that is internalized and continues to color the experience of every lifetime until it is brought up in the conscious awareness. This person had a deep conviction that she did not deserve to be loved, that she couldn’t make sense of because it wasn’t her own experience where it originated from. By bringing up this experience and seeing the truth of it, the false belief can be released.
Interestingly enough I recently did two sessions with clients who had identified their twin in someone they had never had any 3D contact with, one of them even having celebrity status. It was interesting one client had huge wounding around verbalizing emotions and the other had huge issues around trusting herself (fear of being crazy). Their twin being out of reach and therefore most likely completely oblivious to the connection, fit their subconscious wounding perfectly. For the one client it was recreating this environment of not knowing if the twin reciprocated her feelings, that allowed her to revisit the past lives where she had been playing this scenario out over and over again and still held unresolved emotions about it. For the other client, her twin being oblivious to her existence and him being a well known person forced her to face wounding around trusting herself. They had both chosen the same Twin Flame obstacles on a soul level, but for completely different and unique reasons or wounding.
How this principle has played out in my own journey
My twin and I have 6 out of the above mentioned 8 Twin Flame obstacles, we started out with four. I am much older than my twin, we are from different cultures, different religions and we had 6,372 km between us as I lived in Amsterdam, the Netherlands when we met and he in Uttar Pradesh, India. Three years into our journey (more or less) my twin got married, his family chose a wife for him as arranged marriages is part of the cultural traditions within the caste he belongs to and this marriage led to the birth of a child at the beginning of this year.
We don’t have the difference in sexual orientation or sexual preference and we don’t have a difference in social status although my twin’s family may differ in opinion there, as they belong to the highest caste. However the caste system, is a cultural thing and not a societal one as the caste system does not exist outside the culture it is created in. My twin and I have similar social backgrounds, he has had a privileged upbringing as have I, we both grew up in well situated families and have enjoyed similar lifestyles.
Within my twin’s culture, marriages with an older woman are frowned upon, even when the age difference is less big as ours is. For us the large age difference wasn’t a problem, neither was the great physical distance. Although we came from different religious backgrounds, we believed in the same spiritual principles. So, many of our Twin Flame obstacles were not actual obstacles between us. Our biggest obstacle became cultural differences, which is why my twin agreed to an arranged marriage in the first place.
To give you a comparison, a client of mine went to India a year after I did to meet her Twin Flame. She was older and had children. Their age difference was still significant, but smaller. The family was a little worried about what people would say but because he would move abroad anyway – they decided to take the risk. The clients twin also had a brother who would stay in India and who’s future wife would perform the duty of taking care of the parents.
From the get-go it has been clear to me that my twin as the only son in the family chose duty above love. When we were together in India, he tried to explain to me that his family expected him to bring home a wife that would take care of his mother and that he couldn’t expect that of me because I already had my own family and household to take care of. That night he also said that if it was up to him alone, we would already be together and have everything we have talked about (he was referring to children) but that he had other people in his life that he needed to think of and that he needed to take care of.
What I never realized until recently was that I have been playing out this EXACT same pattern over thousands and thousands of years and many lifetimes in between. A wounding that went all the way back to ancient Egypt, a lifetime in which I was a pharaoh and my twin my mistress who was pregnant with our child (his now recently born son). In that lifetime we were not allowed to be together, because our love didn’t serve the world. The world wasn’t ready for Twin Flame love or unions and so I was forced to choose to serve my country above choosing my own happiness and love for my mistress and child. Even our child was not allowed to be born under the strict laws of that time and if you have researched ancient Egypt a bit, then you will know that incest marriages (inbreeding) were preferred in Egyptian royalty in an attempt to keep the bloodline pure.
Love simply had nothing to do with the choice of your life partner, which has been true for most marriages up until the 1800’s where personal happiness started factoring into the equation.
I have known about this lifetime for around a year, my twin had given me a heads up regarding the baby early on in the pregnancy. He showed up in my dreams and I messaged him the next day to congratulate him, he was amazed that I knew (are you a psychic now?!) but confirmed that his baby was due January 1st of the upcoming year. I knew the baby was no accident and that if he/she was showing up in my reality, that it was because we had soul ties together as well. The baby opened up many new lifetimes for me, that were blocking a physical union between me and his father on levels I couldn’t have even imagined. But still despite seeing this past life and understanding that this story was no longer true, in this lifetime our love does serve the world – I didn’t understand the significance of this past life or that it was connected to an even deeper pattern.
It wasn’t until the last month of 2019 (close to six years into our journey now) that I understood this specific past life even better and why my twin marrying someone else and having a child was the key to unlocking this deep soul wound. The pregnancy to me was worse than the marriage, because it felt as utter betrayal. This was our dream, we had desperately wanted a child together. He asked me in the beginning what I wanted him to be in my life, it took me three days on a emotional roller coaster to get back to him and tell him that I wanted him as my husband and father of my child. We had only known each other 1 month at that time and he was only 24 years old then, but his response was that it was the happiest day of his life to know I wanted this with him. Him so ‘carelessly’ now getting his wife pregnant felt like the deepest betrayal, especially because he had been very clear that he was not head over heels in love with this girl. He was yet again simply doing what was being expected of him, he was preforming his duty even when this wasn’t what he wanted for himself. It was what others wanted for him and so he did what was expected of him.
The baby helped me recover deeply disowned subconscious beliefs and the accompanying fears that had pretty much kept me out of romantic bliss over centuries and centuries. I have written about this in a previous article that you can find under the link and this other article related to the same past life.
This romantic bliss eluding me, has also been true in this lifetime, in which I was not lucky in love either. This included two failed marriages that did not end well. But there was also this thing with my children, my oldest son completely derailed at age 13 and started doing drugs. My daughter went fine until she was sixteen when with some encouragement from her father, she wanted nothing more to do with me or the other children. My youngest son now 15 has no issues with me, he wasn’t doing drugs thank God but he also was desperate to somehow be able to move back to the Netherlands with or without me. He is a sweet kid, but his behavior was getting so obnoxious mainly due to a developing Fortnite (gaming) addiction, that I was ready to board him on the first available flight to his dad.
While working with a healer we started to spot a trend, my mother had sent me to my father when I was 13,5 and I had had no say in it. I was picked up by a friend of the family, put on a flight and my dad who I had not lived with since I was 7 and not seen since I was 10 – came to pick me up. My father’s father had died and because my grandmother couldn’t handle him, he had been through 16 different homes by the time he was an adult. I have two half sister from an earlier marriage on my dad’s side and also they had all left home by sixteen, including me I moved in with my first husband when I was 16. We married when I was 19.
Both my parents are war children, they are both Dutch and born prior to WW2 which started in 1940 and ended in 1945. The healer I was working with, uses homeopathy in deep soul processes and within the homeopathy there is this concept called miasms. To keep it simple; miasms predisposes a person to mental, emotional, vibrational or physical symptoms that run in the family lineage. This healer believes that there is also a war miasm (this has not been officially recognized as such within the homeopathy), which made sense to me because it’s a well known fact that for example survivor’s of concentration camps pass on trauma to their children through genes. We would call this ancestral programming, that can go back 7 generations.
What are wars known for? Destabilizing the family unit.
But remember that our current life issues don’t simply show up out of the blue. I did not choose two parents that both grew up during the war randomly, especially considering that I could have easily chosen parents younger than mine and they would have not had the war experience. You see my father was already father of three of which the oldest was 12 when I was born and even my mother, was much older than most mothers in that time – she was older at least by a decade which was very uncommon in that time. That decade difference would have meant post war parents otherwise. Instead, I chose this couple because they had all the ingredients that I needed on a soul level, to work out the patterns that my soul was ready to release in this lifetime.
Watch all these fragments now come together…
And this is where it all starts coming together. I could not for the life of me access the pain of being sent away to my father at 13,5 although it was devastating I had completely shut it out. I grew up in California which was the most happiest time of my life. I attended private school, my mother had her own company cleaning houses and provided piano lessons, tennis lessons, horse back riding, art classes and so on. She worked in Malibu and would take me with her to the houses she cleaned when there was no school and so I got to spend a lot of time on Malibu beach. We lived in with other people, but the house had a private pool and Jacuzzi that I could swim in whenever I wanted. It was an amazing life and without any warning, I found myself shipped off to the other side of the ocean to this small village in farming area (hicktown) up at the top of the Netherlands. I didn’t speak a word of Dutch anymore and most people there couldn’t even speak Dutch correctly they spoke a Dutch dialect. It was the biggest culture shock ever especially back then, it was as if I had been sent back in time. This was prior to the internet age, so things spread slowly. I mean people had no idea what sushi was back then!
So it was a big shock to the system and yet I could NOT connect to my emotions around it.
We went to where this pattern originated and I came to the pharaoh life, but also the lifetime that I linked above where my twin was my husband but gay and committed suicide, came up. It seemed to be all about self-betrayal on the deepest level. The healer then saw yet another past life in 1600 in which I had been a Dutch merchant who betrayed myself, by adopting the Calvinistic religion in order to protect my family but that backfired on me as my family felt betrayed by me.
It was the same pattern over and over again, having to choose between the head and the heart and the only way to do so is by shutting off your emotions. There was this deep belief inside of me, that I could not have both love and fulfill my mission (responsibility or duty) – a conflict of duality believing in either/or instead of and/and. Something that was acutely showing up in the situation with my youngest son, who was severely jeopardizing my ability to keep fulfilling my mission because he was becoming such a handful. It go to the point that I couldn’t even focus on something for three or four hours without things completely derailing at home as he was fully challenging my mother to step into her power, which she felt incapable of doing.
Hence my son did whatever he felt like under her supervision, including sleeping in till late in the afternoon after gaming all night. I have a tight and busy schedule, which simply doesn’t allow for a rebelling teenage son who has only one agenda and that is go back to how things were before his mother insisted on traveling the world with him.
In short there was this deep inner conflict, that I was again playing out with my youngest son. Because seriously adventuring around the world for me is useless if I can’t share that with my family. Work-wise it would have been much easier for me to stay put, instead of teach a 14 week program while abroad and sometimes even on the move. We have been traveling for 1,5 years now and although it has not been perfect at all times – it was never as bad as NOW when I had so much work on my plate and both my mom and my son creating all this extra stress and drama. I was ready to put them both on a direct flight back to the Netherlands.
It was the same inner conflict that I felt as a pharaoh having to give up the family I loved to serve my country and all the times I recreated the same scenario in between. But it was also the inner conflict my twin was living in, back in 2015 when we were together in India he said to me that he didn’t even allow himself to love me like he wanted to love me, because if he did he would do something that would hurt the other people he loved. He also told me that night that no one affected him in the way I did, but no matter how hard I would pull on the strings of his heart he would never cave in. It would almost seem as if he was heartless, except he is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met.
His sense of responsibility and duty towards his family, made him literally shut down his heart and his own desires – to do what he felt was right and this was prior to his marriage and birth of his son. So imagine how high the internal pressure is for him now, wanting to do the right thing and the right thing being the opposite of what you truly desire deep in your heart.
The healer came with a homeopathic remedy that she gave me a one off high potency doses of, called Anarcardium meaning cashew nut. This is the remedy for deep inner conflict and contradictory states. This remedy can heal two opposite parts in one person. Also when a person is in a situation that he can not live according to his own will, that his own will is supplanted in some way by the will of someone else which was certainly true for my twin.
What is interesting is that the cashew nut grows outside of the fruits heart – cardium means heart, and ana means upwards.
It is also the remedy of duality within one self, good versus bad which ties into the primal wounding of my soul, a past life in which as a teenager I was tricked into undergoing an exorcism while there was nothing bad inside me. It was just all politics by the powers that be at that time wanting to get me out of the way. That experience left me feeling powerless and doubting myself, was there really something evil inside of me? It was my first experience of dualism on a soul level, something I had not experienced before because I had been in such a pure state of being – which is why the elders performing such a ritual on me was so shocking and traumatic. It created this inner split inside of me, where I didn’t know anymore if I could trust myself.
Healing this deep rift inside myself has been the greatest gift till date on this journey. This inner rift is basically the human condition, the separation of the upper and lower chakras and the inner struggle of the two brothers Kane and Able that I have written about in an article on my personal website. It also showed me WHY my Twin Flame couldn’t have done anything but marry someone else and have the baby, to allow me to reach the depth of my deepest soul wounds, but at the same time allow himself to PLAY out his corresponding deep soul wound.
I remember very early on in our relationship, I told my twin that I was getting in so deep emotionally with him, so quickly that it scared me and that if he did not feel the same way to tell me now before there was no way back for me. He told me ‘We are in this together, you and I. We will find a way together.‘ I can’t tell you how often I have been angry with him for saying this and then clearly leaving me to fend for my own (there is that war miasm again – in times of war it is every man for himself). But what I realize now is that he was telling me the truth, we have been in this together and while my journey has been tough so has his because he had to fully PLAY out this inner conflict in his physical reality of having to choose his head above his heart which also would not have been so necessary if he had not chosen India as his country of incarnation.
Being the only son and his father widowing his mother when he was only 3 months old. He chose all of these circumstances because it allowed him to play out his inner conflict exactly in the way he needed to. Had he chosen Europe or America to be born in, he would have never been conditioned to accept an arranged marriage. We ALL come from a history of arranged marriages, every single country in the world practiced arranged marriages up until the 1800’s but since then many countries and cultures have abandoned this practice. So he had to choose a country and a family that would insist on this tradition being upheld.
Will this bring us into Twin Flame union?
My honest answer is that I don’t know and I really don’t care if it does or not. Because what I have realized is that with this inner conflict in place inside of us, we would have never been able to come into Twin Flame union anyway. Remember that a union is the total sum of both parts and as we both believed subconsciously that we could not have our cake and eat it too, our relationship would have kept mirroring this deep inner conflict back to us.
The either/or belief that was so deeply installed in us is the essence of duality, it belongs to the old 3D paradigm of opposites. To be able to have your cake and eat it too, is part of the 5th dimensional paradigm and/and – there is no more separation. On a much deeper level, this isn’t even about the stories connected to it. It’s about releasing the subconscious programming that has us locked into a reality of duality.
Back to how this is playing out in our reality….
Just as much as I have been fighting to keep my family unit from falling apart, so has he but for entirely different reasons. For him it’s fighting himself to uphold what is expected of him, when his heart is pulling him away from what he is fighting to protect. He feels different now, but when he first told me about the pregnancy he felt very detached in general but also towards the baby. Once the baby was born he was very proud and in a state of euphoria, but babies can’t fix what is wrong in the foundation of a marriage. The truth is that these people have zero real connection with each other, despite the fact that they are both desperately fighting to make it work.
In theory I can see how healing this rift inside ourselves, would make it impossible for him to continue his marriage. If his head and his heart are no longer at battle, then he would not need to force himself to do what is expected of him, if that contradicts with his own deepest desires. He would simply allow himself to follow his heart and live the promptings of his soul.
Will it play out like that? I don’t know.
But what I do know is that whether we end up in a romantic relationship with each other or not, that healing this inner split between the ego and the soul was destined for us and part of our soul agreement. I didn’t accidentally stumble on this despite the so called ‘horrors’ of my Twin Flame journey. This has been so ingeniously orchestrated from beginning to end, that there is no doubt in my mind that this was pre-planned to bring us into this moment where I fully understand that my Twin Flame had no other choice but to do what he did, in order to help us liberate ourselves from the deepest oppression within ourselves.
I believe that when it is meant to be and when the soul process has been completed, that these so called obstacles we face on our Twin Flame journey will dissolve on their own. In the meantime we can feel in a hurry to come into a romantic relationship with our twin but those obstacles are there not to hinder us but to help us prepare for true Twin Flame union. As my favorite teacher of metaphysics Florence Scovel Shinn says ‘Hindrances are friendly” and obstacles spring boards! I now jump into my good!’
On a collective level we all need to heal the inner rift between our ego and our soul. Our ego can’t have so called ‘Twin Flame union’ manifest quickly enough, it’s in a hurry to consummate the physical aspect of our connection which is of course yummy and delicious, but our souls want more out of this experience than the gratification of our 5 physical senses. It seeks liberation through the Twin Flame and Ascension journey which is why it created these obstacles in the first place. It custom built this experience to help us reach our fullest potential and I am sure you have read something of this order many times without truly comprehending what this actually means. It is my hope by sharing my own experiences of this nature, that you can start to understand the utter depth of this journey. And this depth needn’t scare you, because you are guided every step of the way once you dive in deep, in full surrender.