In this soul teaching on how to deal with Twin Flame triggers, a 5-step process to coming back to harmony, you will learn:
Reading time approximately 30 minutes, so pour yourself something to drink or grab a snack.
Twin Flame triggering explained
If you are on the Twin Flame journey, then you are familiar with the phenomenon of getting triggered even when you may not fully understand the dynamic or the reason behind it. You only know that this specific person for some reason has the ability to trigger you left and right, bringing up stuff inside of you that you didn’t even realize was there.
One only has to look at the majority of posts in large Twin Flame groups, to see how triggered people are when writing about reclaiming their ‘power’, calling their twin a narcissist and so on. The Twin Flame journey brings up a lot of stuff and is above all meant to help us release the gunk and sludge that we are carrying deep within ourselves, that is poisoning our lives from the inside out without us even realizing it. This is why you see these people spewing venom and poison in those groups because they are deeply getting triggered, but not understanding it’s their own subconscious gunk and sludge – instead they project it on who they believe to be their Twin Flame and often vilify the twin in the process.
These people don’t understand the significance of triggering in the Twin Flame journey or Ascension process. They don’t realize that the triggering is a blessing in disguise, that helps them reclaim and re-own often deeply rejected parts of themselves that were too painful to face when they happened and this can even stem from past lives.
Because the Twin Flame is our Divine mirror, they reflect back to us all the parts of ourselves that we find difficult to embrace. They don’t only reflect back our deepest hidden gunk and sludge, but also our inner light and greatness that we have been blind to for way too long.
In short the process of triggering helps us peel back layer by layer, everything that has been obscuring our true nature, not only in this life but for the course of all of our soul’s incarnations here on planet Earth. Our Twin Flame is our ally in this process, helping us find all the places inside ourselves that lurk in the shadows and need the light of truth shown on them.
In return once we have brought the light back into these places inside ourselves, it sends a new vibrational frequency impulse to our Divine counterpart to attune to. Much like a tuning fork, we send out a now higher vibrational frequency code (after removing the inner density) that ‘forces’ our energetic frequency match to level up and resonate at this new higher vibrational frequency. Like a spiritual tag-team we pull each other into our own Ascension, through this process – which does not mean that your Ascension depends on your Twin Flame doing anything in particular as you will see below. In fact their absence may be, the biggest way in which to trigger you and thus bring up your deeply held subconscious wounding.
This is not a fairy-tale of two lovers holding hands while skipping through the clouds and sliding off of brilliant colored rainbows. Because no matter how romantic that image may be, it doesn’t allow you to go into the depths of your own pain and shadows to bring healing and love to these long forgotten places inside yourself. No one can love you, the way you hope for until your own love has permeated your being. Not because you are not lovable, but because you will not be able to let this love in until you know without a shadow of a doubt that you deserve to be loved completely.
The dynamic of Twin Flame triggering is designed to strip all the layers back that are keeping you from understanding that YOU ARE LOVE, you do not need to earn or deserve love and you can never lose love – it is who you are. You can only share your ability to be love in every moment and it is of course our unresolved pain that makes us forget this and lash out at others. When we remove this deep and unresolved pain layer, by layer, all that is left is the truth of who we are and that is the whole goal of the Twin Flame journey.
You read that right, the goal and great reward of the Twin Flame journey is not ending up in a romantic relationship with this person although this may happen as well. No, the goal and great reward of this journey is to become who you truly are and were always meant to be. And when YOU ARE LOVE, this inner reality will be reflected back to you in your outer reality in the most perfect way which could be with your Twin Flame but doesn’t have to be. Your soul may have bigger and better plans for you, that you are currently unaware of.
The different ways you can get triggered
As we have established in the section above, Twin Flame triggering is meant to help us find our own oftentimes deeply disowned subconscious wounds. This is unresolved pain from our current lives, such as inner child wounds but also karmic residue we still carry within our vibrational field from past life trauma, which is in fact creating our current life drama.
In this section we will explore the different ways in which Twin Flame triggering shows up in our lives, to help us access the deeper unresolved pain that we carry within our vibrational field. All of these triggers are meant to help you peel back the layers that are obscuring your true nature. There isn’t one more effective than the other, they ALL serve the same purpose and that is to trigger deeply held subconscious pain inside yourself. If there was no unresolved pain, there would be no trigger – it is really that simple. If something does deeply trigger you, it’s because it is touching a false belief or fear, that you may not be aware of but, nonetheless hold true deep inside yourself. The trigger is meant to help you heal this fear or false belief, aka pull back the layer of unresolved pain that is keeping you from seeing that YOU ARE LOVE.
You can have any combination of following triggers or even ALL of them. I have personally been triggered on my own journey in all of the ways described below. Because my own Twin Flame journey is meant to create a pathway for the collective to follow, my twin and I often find ourselves on the scenic route of this journey giving us a taste of all it has to offer. Do not be concerned if you have been triggered in all ways or instead only a few, you will only attract that which you need in your own connection and inner process. Life and your soul are always only working towards your highest good and everything that happens is in accordance to this. In the end, our higher selves use both closeness and distance and everything in between, to TRIGGER our subconscious wounding. It is a Divinely led process.
So, let’s dive into the various Twin Flame triggers that assist you in this process of becoming who you truly are and were always meant to be…..
#1 Direct interaction (closeness)
It’s interesting that often the thing that we want the most can also be the most triggering. We tend to long for contact with our Twin Flame, but when we get it – it can stir up all kinds of things. This is true whether we meet in person, talk on the phone or are energetically or physically intimate. Yep, sex triggers too! It can be confusing that getting this one on one time together that you most likely craved for, triggers you but it is also very logical.
When you do get to spend time together (even if it is both behind a screen instead of in real life) there is a deep energy exchange that takes place and although everything was perfect and you both enjoyed your time together whether sexual or non-sexual that energy exchange or even what was said can trigger deeper layers of unresolved pain. Because remember the twin doesn’t only mirror us back our shadows, they also mirror back our inner light and greatness. This can then trigger all the places inside ourselves that contradict what we see in our Divine mirror. The more we see our inner light reflected back to us, the more it triggers the inner darkness that it is hidden under.
#2 No contact/blocking/ghosting (separation)
Separation is a very painful experience for Twin Flames, but it also serves a higher purpose. It hurts when the person that we love the most, alienates us and shuts us out of their life. It also hurts when they disappear without a trace, leaving you wondering if it was something that you said or did to make them walk out on you in this way. But that’s not the case, talking to my own twin and other runner twins it is clear that they don’t know why they are acting this way either. My twin actually once told me that he could feel that it wasn’t time yet for us to reconnect as if he was being guided from within without really understanding what was going on himself.
Yes, their behavior seems callous and unloving but sometimes that is exactly what we need to create the time and space to dive deep inside ourselves and face deeply held subconscious wounds around abandonment, fear of loss and so on. The pain we feel through their absence and the inner dialogue we use to tell ourselves what their absence means are all clues to help us find the wounds being triggered through separation.
#3 Silence/not responding (running)
Often before all contact is cut off or maybe even during that time, we can also get triggered by their silence and unresponsiveness to our attempts to reach out and reconnect. Again this seems to be an involuntary process, I know my twin and other runner twins deeply despise themselves for their behavior towards us when they ignore us and know they are hurting our feelings. This is in fact part of bringing up their own unresolved pain and self judgment.
Did you have an emotionally unavailable or absent father (representation of the Divine masculine)? Were you emotionally abused or blackmailed as a child? Was ‘love’ and approval taken away, when you didn’t do as you were told? Were your needs unseen and neglected? Are you struggling between setting boundaries and trying to earn love? Guess what is being triggered now? These kind of deeply buried wounds, that you could have even carried over from previous lifetimes.
#4 Denial of the connection or feelings
But what happens when your Twin Flame denies the connection or their feelings for you? Is this really a case of unrequited love that maybe serves to trigger past life unresolved pain of similar experiences lived before?
It could be…..
Another option is that this is happening to bring up all the subconscious wounding you have around trusting yourself or the Divine. Because how does it make you feel when your twin denies, what you so obviously feel to be true about your connection? You doubt yourself, you wonder if you are going crazy…. and that is exactly WHY this is happening for you because how can you become who you truly are and who you were always meant to be if you don’t trust yourself or God/the Universe? It’s not possible and so these subconscious wounds are triggered so that you can remove them and continue your journey into uncovering your true nature.
Triggers 2 to 4 are often extra frustrating to the one left behind because they can’t move on. Either because they are being c*ck-blocked by the Universe, or their own feelings don’t allow them to fall in love with someone new. Potential new partners often don’t measure up to the high bar set by the twin, when it comes to the deep connection felt. But also this is to their own benefit, because a new relationship would simply distract the stayer twin from the inner work in most cases. They are being forced into a corner by their own soul to be able to make a quantum leap in soul evolution and this of course affects their human life in the physical realm.
This time alone allows them to release all of the old 3D romantic love programming that is not based in love but in fear, in order for them to be able to bring in new relationship templates that are based in unconditional love and true equality. This includes deprogramming 6,000 years of patriarchal conditioning in which the masculine is considered superior to the feminine. We may consciously revolt against such ideas, but they could bleed through from past lives or through our ancestral bloodlines.
Triggering can also happen through dreams, whether our dreams are premonitions or just fantasy they can help us work through and uncover unresolved pain. In fact a lot of our subconscious work is done in dream-state.
My twin has done a lot of his most difficult and potentially triggering messaging through dreams. Three days before he got married to someone else, he came to tell me that he was getting married but that he would love me forever. I woke up three days later to alarming messages from my team, that my twin was getting married. By the end of that day almost everybody I knew in India was reaching out to me to let me know he was getting married. What was interesting about that dream was that I felt total peace when he told me and I remember being surprised by the fact that in my dream I felt so at peace. I felt less peaceful when it actually happened, but because of the dream and the peace I had felt in the dream I understood that this was what my higher self felt about the marriage and I decided to trust that even though I had no idea how, I was going to trust that this was happening for our highest good.
Then in 2018 my twin came into my dream again to tell me he was becoming a father, I messaged him the following day to congratulate him and he was stunned that I already knew. He said: ‘You are a psychic!’ and I told him: ‘No, you just keep showing up in my dreams telling me this stuff.’ Especially the baby triggered me deeply, because that was our dream – something that we had both wanted together even though he was only 24 at that time. I understood the arranged marriage, I did not understand the baby. Especially because my twin had told me three months into his marriage that he didn’t know if he would ever leave his wife, but if he did he would be on a plane the very next day to come to me. Why complicate things with a baby if you are not happy or in love with your wife? But I knew with the baby showing up in my reality, that the baby also had significance for me and so I started asking the baby’s soul what our connection was. Thanks to the dream I was able to work through everything the baby brought up by the time the baby was born, which was the same week that I was in India (where my twin lives) to host a Twin Flame retreat.
As I was boarding the plane, my twin sent me a picture of his new born son and there was zero triggering because I had used the six months time since he told me, to work on my inner wounds – which included a past life in Egypt with my twin where this same soul was our baby. In that life I had been the man, a pharaoh and my twin was my lover and pregnant with our child. In that time it was decided that our love didn’t serve the world (a subconscious false belief) and I had to make the difficult decision to have the pregnancy terminated and marry someone else. In this lifetime I had to ‘allow’ this child to be born, which of course is something that is quite a challenge when the love of your life is having a child with someone else.
#6 Telepathy and imagination
Telepathy between twins can be a gift, but it can trigger too, There is a large group within the Twin Flame collective that feels they are forever picking up on their twin’s feelings, some even complaining that they can feel it when their twin has sex with someone else. Whether this is a question of needing to deliberately shut themselves off more or an overactive imagination (let’s be honest you don’t know that it is 100% true), in both cases it can be very triggering.
My advice is always to keep the focus on yourself, instead of your twin because there is no point in terrorizing yourself internally about things you have zero control over. Your twin is free to have sex with whomever they want, when you and they are not together in a committed relationship – as are you because you are NOT together as a couple, This is an undeniable fact, so there is no point in resisting it because you are only hurting yourself more that way.
If you are someone who feels that they are picking up a lot on their twin’s thoughts and emotions, find a healer that will help you shut it off. There are multiple healers that The School of Inner Union members have access to, that can help you do this.
Also many people disown their own wounding and project it on their twin, just because you don’t recognize something as your own – doesn’t mean that it isn’t. Almost all of our wounding is subconscious, meaning you don’t know what you don’t know. Especially if it is deeply disowned, it won’t feel like it’s yours because the unresolved pain was so great that you dissociated from it.
So be mindful, thinking something belongs to your twin that is actually yours. You are not meant to carry your twin and you are not responsible for their healing, you are not their savior and that applies doubly so if your twin suffers from addiction or substance abuse.
We can have good memories and bad memories and both of them can be really triggering. If you tend to hang on to the past of your Twin Flame connection and find it difficult to be in the here and now try the Bach flower essence Honeysuckle to help you to be able to move forward. Read instruction for use here.
Our memories can trigger all kind of emotions that can feel good or feel awful, they can make us smile, cry, be filled with rage and everything in between. Another very valuable Bach flower in this area is Holly which helps open up the heart and help you work through all the emotions you feel in the absence of love in your heart. Think of anger, jealousy, revenge, sorrow, mistrust and so on.
Our minds can be our worst enemies, especially when we draw conclusions that aren’t the truth – but merely our interpretation based on our life perspective that is colored by our own subconscious wounding. When this happens it is only a deeper indication of the underlying wounding that causes us to interpret our experiences a certain way such as abandonment, betrayal, unrequited love, emotional unavailability and so on.
It’s our own subconscious wounds that make us say ‘I recognize this, this has happened to me before…. this is such and such label.’ But slapping on those labels prevents us from healing, because we fail to realize we drew in these experiences into our reality because they are meant to help us heal a deeper unresolved pain that was already there. The pain is not caused in this moment, this moment is touching an unresolved pain from the past and that is why it hurts.
#8 Social media
Social media can be extremely triggering and it is important to remember that smiling photographs are only a snapshot in time, they don’t have to represent the reality of the situation. Something one of my clients recently found out when in a restaurant with her sister, her sister told her she felt so sorry for the couple at the table behind my client – they looked so unhappy. Yes, it was her twin out on a date with his new girlfriend. That night became her moment of triumph, because she felt zero triggered by this confrontation. When only recently before she had vomited and passed out on a plane, when he had messaged her that he was seeing someone else.
As many of us do like to check up on (aka stalk) our twins through social media, new pictures can really be triggering when you see them and especially if you make them mean more than they do. Remember social media does not give you an accurate impression of what is really going on. Before my twin got married, he was seeing a girl that he was not friends with on Facebook but they were having sex nonetheless. She never liked or commented on his posts, but that did not mean they weren’t intimate when they were sure they wouldn’t be found out. They were both promised to someone else, so it had no future and they didn’t want anyone to know. Your twin may not have an arranged marriage, but he or she could be seeing a married person which they will likely want to hide as well.
Social media is about what people WANT to show the world and not necessarily about what is true about their life. There were zero pregnancy pics online of my twin’s wife and even pictures of the baby didn’t come until much later. It took my twin three years to upload a picture of him and his wife, it was a picture of his son’s first birthday. Each wedding anniversary my twin’s wife writes these gushing posts that he completely ignores, he will not comment or like them unless he has to. But is this how he behaves with her at home? Probably not because she is still with him.
So how much truth can you derive from spying on your twin on social media or visa versa? I am quite sure that my twin checks my profile now and then as well to see if I am with someone or not. He might not be able to be with me, but as time has moved on he has had to accept that I would meet other people as well. That has not left him unmoved either.
The thing with social media is that you can never be 100% sure if your assumptions are correct or not.
That girl that is constantly liking your twin’s pics and commenting on them may be someone he is sleeping with, but it could also be someone who desperately wants his attention and that he really isn’t that interested in. It could also be that your twin is sleeping with someone else, but that there are no online clues about who this other person is. No matter what applies to your situation, it doesn’t matter because it’s a waste of your time and energy to worry about it. Your twin’s third party relationship as I will explain later on, are simply part of the healing process – there is absolutely no reason to fear them.
#9 The grapevine (family/friends/acquaintances or frenemies)
Another way we can get triggered is through the grapevine, hear-say we get through their’s or mutual family, friends, acquaintances and frenemies. It can be information regarding yourself about what your twin said or did and of course about what they didn’t say or do that hurts or it can be information about their current life. We often also get information about new partners, marriages and babies through the grapevine.
In my own Twin Flame journey I have had three major grapevine moments and they were extremely triggering, causing great conflict between my twin and I for various reasons. What I have learned from these situations and supporting clients in such situations, is that also these seemingly random experiences are meant to address deeper layered subconscious trauma through this current moment drama.
It’s really not about what is happening in the here and now,
And then there is also just the things other people do that trigger. I had dropped zero tears when my twin sent me a picture of his son and I was genuinely happy for him and his wife when his child was born. Fast forward to the weekend and the baby is only 5 days old, I am in a hotel room in Delhi, India and my twin is in Noida less than 50 kilometres away from me. I wake up at 9 am to a missed call from my twin and an extremely raunchy text sent in a private conversation (something my twin never does because we don’t have things to say to each other that we need to hide). I was surprised and annoyed at that moment but waiting for my twin to explain himself and that he did hours later.
He tells me that some grade A *sshole got a hold of his phone and sent me the text! I was livid, it was one thing if my twin sends me strong sexual texts but it was quite something else when his mates pull such a prank when his wife is still bleeding from having his child. If she would have seen that text (which she may have), she might have believed he was cheating on her which has never been the case.
It was all in very poor taste, but it triggered something even deeper and before I knew I was CAPS LOCK shouting at him; ‘HOW DARE HE ALLOW THOSE BUMS HE CALLS FRIENDS TO DRAG ME AND OUR CONNECTION THROUGH THE MUD?’ I let him have it with a vengeance and let him know that I didn’t cry over the baby, but I was crying now. How could he allow his friends to behave towards me in this way? How could he allow them to defile me? How could he not see that our connection was sacred and that I couldn’t understand why he would allow his so-called friends to do this. My twin endured the rants that lasted for days without shutting me down or blocking me, he stuck it out with me which he always does – making sure he reads what I write to let me know he is listening to what I have to say.
Boy, I was furious with him and then I realized that everything I was saying to my twin applied to my father who had sexually abused me at an extremely young age. It was my father that had defiled our relationship. It was my father that had desanctified the sacredness of the father-daughter bond. This completely absurd and unnecessary situation (a sick prank that could have gone horribly wrong) served to trigger the outrage my inner child still felt about the incest with my father.
A month later when I had already left India and was in Dubai I get a call from a friend, who had run into one of my twin’s friends and had come to find out that my twin had gotten into a terrible fight over me, with this guy and another friend that had almost cost them their friendship with my twin. My twin’s friend also explained that my twin’s wife had found out about me and he also had a fight with her over me which again shows that also the Divine Masculine (m/f) does not escape getting triggered. I was angry in this situation and rightfully so, but this was a bomb that exploded in my twin’s life and he got hit from all sides. I was angry, his wife was angry, his family would have found out and had gotten angry and then his own anger towards his friends and that all in the same week that he became father for the first time….
What was supposed to be one of the happiest moments in his life became one of his worst weeks ever not because of something he did or because of me, but because of this seemingly random sick joke that got him in trouble with all the people in his life that were important to him. He married his wife, to make his mother and family happy and so anything that threatens that marriage threatens the happiness of his loved one. And of course now that he has a child with her, he will try to convince himself that he is happy and in love with her because this is what we do in situations like this. We try to trick ourselves into believing what we desperately want to be true even when it isn’t. We have all tried to make relationships work, because we needed them to work not because they were what was best for us.
#10 Third party relationships and babies
Third party relationships and babies can be brutal triggers, one of my clients ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning when she saw on social media that her twin had fathered a child with his current girlfriend. She got so triggered that she ended up drinking too much and needed medical care. That is how triggering these experiences can be.
I remember when I first started out as a Twin Flame healer, one of my very first clients told me that when her twin got married to someone else she attempted suicide and three months later the new wife was already out of her twin’s life. She said to me; ‘If I had known that he would have divorced her within three months, I would have never tried to kill myself!’ This is something that I really kept in mind and often tell my clients when they stress about situations that they have no control over like new relationships, engagements, marriages and babies.
But all of these situation serve a higher good that we are often not aware of. There is nothing like a new woman (or man) that brings up all your feelings of unworthiness and not being good enough. It makes you question why someone else was chosen over you and this brings up any subconscious wounding that you have from this lifetime, but also from previous lifetimes.
Because of the incest with my father I decided at the age of 2, that this happening to me must mean that I don’t deserve to be loved. It has only been through the unraveling of my inner wounding through my Twin Flame journey that I was able to get to the core of my inner child wounding. Because I had been two years old when this happened, I had completely repressed the memory and my emotions. I had no clue what was there, I thought I was ready to have love come and stay in my life when I met my twin, despite having two failed marriages. When my twin got married to someone else, I felt like I had been hit by a sledgehammer in my solar-plexus chakra. Inner child wounding and wounds of self-esteem are held in the third chakra, my twin’s marriage broke this open but it still took me three years to work through everything that I had been hiding from myself and that I didn’t know was there.
The same with babies which I have already touched upon a little bit, my client’s alcohol poisoning shows how immensely triggering such experiences can be – despite the fact that she had spoken to me the day before she found out and I had told her about my experience with my twin’s son. The most fascinating aspect of the baby being born to my twin, was that it was helping us remove obstacles between us. Instead of the baby bringing my twin and his wife closer together, the baby was bringing me and my twin closer together energetically. The baby was a major catalyst in my inner union process and removing the inner blocks to true union with my twin which is not the same as a physical romantic relationship.
As I started to come into deeper union with my own soul, images of deeper energetic union came with the twin. In one of the healing sessions I was brought to an etheric Atlantean temple where I was led to go into a pool of sacred water, where I was reconnected to my soul and literally plugged back into my soul through the heart chakra. When this process was finished, I was shown in my heart with a deep heart knowing that my twin and I are one and that we cannot lose each other. I say deep heart knowing, because it wasn’t merely a thought or a belief – I could feel it as 100% true with every cell and atom of my being.
Many people fear that when their Twin Flame marries someone else or has children that this means GAME OVER for them and that they will never be together with their Twin Flame, but that is not the case. The absence of being able to be together romantically does not stop the Twin Flame process, because this journey is not about coming into a romantic union even though many of you will end up with your twin in the end.
I call these experiences modern day initiations because that is what they are, these experiences of complete loss (which is an illusion in itself) are initiations into higher consciousness and higher states of being. They force us to let go of our old 3D paradigm worldview and interpretation of reality so that we can learn to see the world through the eyes of our soul truth. You do not have to fear these experiences in the way that most of you do, because if they are part of your journey (and they don’t have to be) they will help you transcend many old belief-systems that you have been carrying with you since the beginning of time. These need to be released in order to access these higher vibrational states of being that this journey leads into.
#11 Seeing them or their picture unexpectedly
Another trigger can be connected to the element of surprise and it doesn’t really matter here if it happens in the physical or online – this is true for all triggers. Physical or energetical, online or offline it doesn’t really matter, that’s just another old 3D paradigm belief that only if it is measurably ‘real’ does it count. If you can’t see it, taste it, touch it and so on – then it’s not real in 3D. This is of course not true, seeing a picture of your twin unexpectedly can be just as triggering as bumping into them in the street.
I have had pictures of my twin sent to me, when I didn’t expect it where I experienced a sensation of shock seeing them. Just being confronted with his energy out of nowhere would hit my energy-field hard especially because we were in separation at that time.
One of my clients has a twin who works in security at her local shopping mall, he is not always on duty when she goes shopping but once in a while she does bump into him unexpectedly and that always triggers her immensely. One of the things that trigger her is how he can act normal around everybody else, except her – something that we probably have all witnessed happening within our Twin Flame connection.
Also these experiences are not random, they don’t happen by accident. They are guided by the Divine to help us move through our inner process. Like the client who saw her twin out on a disastrous date with his new girlfriend and then bumped into them again while out on the town, it only made her realize that she did not envy what they had going on after she had healed the trauma that him texting her that he was seeing somebody, had initially triggered.
How to deal with Twin Flame triggering
As all of the above triggers clearly show, each and every one serves a higher purpose. Triggers happen for you, not against you. They are moments of immense healing and immense growth, in fact they offer you an opportunity to make a quantum leap in consciousness – so there is absolutely no reason to fear them. Instead you should welcome them and allow the triggers to help you unravel the subconscious wounding inside yourself that are keeping you from fully realizing who you are meant to be and always have been.
In this section I will give you tips on how to deal with your triggers:
Step #1 Owning vs projecting
As human beings in the 3rd dimensional reality we are heavily programmed to project our pain on to others, it is part of the victim identity template that we are meant to release. This is because in the 3D paradigm, we strongly identify with our ego and personality (which is a sum up of our current and past life wounding). The ego think in us vs. them, it believes in separation and perceives everything as an attack.
In this state we disown the things we don’t like about ourselves and project them outside ourselves. We blame the other for hurting us, it’s their fault we feel the way we do because of what they said or what they did that hurt our feelings. This is where the biggest fights come from when we project onto each other our own wounding, which is true for most 3D old paradigm relationships. Which is why you don’t need to envy your twin in their so-called ‘karmic’ relationship because they are simply playing out their subconscious wounding together. They are not having the relationship you dream of with your twin, most of all not because they don’t have the insane deep connection that you and your twin shares. Your twin knows this.
In this article I have given you ample examples of what it means to own your own wounding, to realize that your outer reality is helping you heal something on a deeper level (without blaming yourself!). Remember blame itself is a 3D concept, it does not exist in the higher dimensional realities. Owning your own wounding, does not mean taking the blame – instead it is the first step to healing the underlying cause. Because as long as your are in denial that there is a deeper cause in you, you cannot access the root of the issue and you will keep recreating similar situations over and over again in an attempt to heal the inner fear or false belief that you are playing out in your reality.
Remember my inner false belief that I created as a two year old about not deserving to be loved? That is exactly what I played out in my love life, in my first marriage my husband physically, emotionally and sexually abused me. In my second marriage my husband started having an affair with another woman even before we married, he refused to touch me for six years out of the seven years that we were together. We are continuously playing out our inner wounds in our reality experience which is why we need to own them in order to be able to heal them.
Step #2 Feel but do not act
When you get triggered it is very tempting to act on your emotions impulsively, to lash out in pain, show your anger, call the other person names and so on. But it is actually way more healing to sit with your emotions first and allow yourself to feel what you feel. Especially because these are feelings of unprocessed pain that you did not or were not able to allow yourself to feel before.
Trauma arises in those situations where you were unable to deal with the experience in that moment. The unprocessed emotions are stored subconsciously and in the physical body often altering our physiology. Victims of sexual abuse for example often tighten their anal sphincter because this shuts off the feelings in the body, if they can’t control what is happening to them – they can at least control what they feel. This survival mechanism of shutting off their feelings can remain long after the sexual abuse itself has stopped. This is because they still can’t deal with the feelings of the sexual abuse.
It can be very difficult to not immediately react to the triggers you experience and this will most likely be a growth process where you will unload on your twin, before taking time to really feel through your feelings and truly understand what is going on. But as you grow, you will learn to stop to feel first before you act, which in itself is already incredibly healing.
Step #3 Where is the pain coming from?
In the process of allowing yourself to feel everything that is being touched inside, we can come to understand where our pain is coming from but this isn’t always the case. Almost all of our wounding is held subconsciously, which means that we don’t know that it is there and that we can’t remember what happened or see how it is related to our current day reality. This is especially true for past life wounds bleeding through.
Most of us do not have an active recollection of our past lives or our past life traumatic experience, which is a good thing because imagine growing up remembering all the horrific experiences you had in other lifetimes? You would never be able to grow up healthy or feel safe because you would remember all those times you were hurt before.
This is still true in a way, but because your memory is subconscious it doesn’t paralyze you in the way it would have, if you would actively remember it. It still affects us, but allows us to continue as if it didn’t happen. This is true for when we block out current life trauma and it is also true for past life trauma, ‘forgetting’ what happened or repressing the traumatic emotions allows us to keep functioning when otherwise it would debilitate our lives permanently which is another way that trauma can manifest itself in our lives.
When trauma has gone underground, aka lodged itself in the subconscious – it’s often close to impossible to access yourself. This is where you need the help of a therapist or healer, think of regression, hypnotherapy, EMDR, past life regression, Akashic Record clearings and so on to find the underlying cause that is being triggered.
Step #4 Heal the subconscious deeper wounding
Over the course of my own Twin Flame journey that has just recently passed the six years milestone, I have had over 1000 healing sessions with many different healers and therapists to help me heal the deeper wounding that was left unresolved in my subconscious.
Many take the path of self healing because they lack the funds to work with healers, but a lack of funds is actually a product of your wounding. It is not a given state, it’s self generated from within. How do I know this for sure? Because I too had a lack of funds when I started out on my own healing path, but that was actually something I healed completely – halfway in my healing journey. Since then I have advised many of my clients on this and they have all found their way out of a lack state of consciousness, which is nothing but old 3D paradigm scarcity conditioning and programming.
My advice is not to muck around with trying to heal yourself or barter with healers and therapists you know in your own network (work with the healers of your choice and not the only healers you can ‘afford’). Invest in yourself and your own healing, because this is the best investment you will ever make. I have Twin Flame Tribe clients flying in from all over the world (India, United States, Canada, Europe and so on) to work with the recommended healers that Tribe members have access to and they are making massive shifts in their lives because of it!
It’s super tempting to think that all these fake solutions such as Twin Flame guided healing meditations and union activations work because they are so affordable – but the truth is that they don’t even begin to scratch the surface of the real inner work that needs to be done on this journey. Stop trying to save money, where it counts. Buying two Twin Flame guided healings cost just as much as working with many healers ($100) and will get you deeper results, than listening to those audios provided you work with the right people.
Especially within the Twin Flame healing stratosphere there are more ‘charlatans’ than people who actually know what they are doing, my advice is to work with regular therapists and healers. They may not understand, the Twin Flame dynamic always but they know their work and how to help you access your inner wounding. This can’t be said for the majority of the Twin Flame healers out there, this may sound like I am taking down the competition but I am not. As you I am on this journey as well and I have worked with many of them and to be honest, the best results that I have gotten have been with experienced therapists and healers that worked outside the Twin Flame realm. This doesn’t mean ALL twin Flame healers are fakes, because that is not true either and I am of course also a Twin Flame healer myself but you simply have to be really discerning who you work with.
Especially because there are so many Twin Flame healers who use their so-called psychic gifts as part of their session. These sessions will often tell you everything you desperately long to hear, but there is no real healing in them. You are just strung along week by week or month by month in a fantasy world of your twin coming closer to you without you actually doing anything. I have 5,000 euro plus in invoices from such ‘healing sessions’ that prove they don’t work. This may be politically incorrect to say out loud and I realize it’s not considered nice, but it’s the truth and it needs to be told because too many Twin Flame journeys become derailed because of these psychic check-ins with where the twin is at and trying to game the system aka quick fixes.
Although I can’t say that I have worked with everyone within the Twin Flame industry, I can say I tried all of the different solutions out there like many of you have and they didn’t work because they aren’t aimed at you healing you, they are aimed at coming into a romantic relationship with the twin – which doesn’t work because you are trying to bypass the actual inner work that prepares you to be able to have and hold a 5th dimensional Divine partnership.
You have to do the inner work to even have a shot at making it as a Twin Flame couple in an intimate physical relationship. Because even those twins, that come together relatively quickly don’t necessarily stay together. I also work with Twin Flames who are in a romantic committed relationship with their Divine counterpart and they still get triggered and even separate at times to work through their inner wounds being bared open. So many twins in separation think that a physical union is the be all end all of the Twin Flame journey, but it’s not and it’s not true Twin Flame union either. The higher selves merely use closeness and distance to trigger the subconscious wounding and those together with their Twin Flame are not magically exempted from doing their inner work. We all have to do our inner work, no matter what our Twin Flame relationship status is or as I have shown in my case even when it looks like it’s GAME OVER and everything seems to be lost forever….
Step #5 Gratitude and forgiveness
The final step in healing our triggers is when we can express gratitude on a soul level for our earthly experiences and come to forgiveness of the people who were involved in our healing process. The healing process cannot be complete without coming to gratitude and forgiveness.
This is almost unfathomable for the 3D programmed mind, because it sees the other person as an enemy instead of an ally. In this state of consciousness we are completely oblivious to the soul contracts we created with the other players in our real life drama, who have consented to helping us play out our deepest wounding because doing so also supports their own soul evolution.
In 3D we have victims and perpetrators (souls playing the bad guy) in our stories, but on a soul level this is not true. These are merely 3D ego interpretations coming from a worldview, through the lens of separation. This can be very difficult to understand if you still have people in your life that you blame for hurting you. And let’s just be honest with each other, no one escapes getting hurt. We all have someone in our lives that has hurt us deeply, but as long as we hold onto wanting to punish that person and make them pay for what they did to us we are imprisoning ourselves with them. We literally energetically handcuff ourselves to these people and experiences when we cannot forgive them. We drag them along into every new moment of our life, when we could simply choose to let go – not for them, but for ourselves and our own healing.
One of the things I specialize in, in the Akashic Record Clearings is helping my clients see how their current life traumatic experience was meant to help them heal a deeper trauma. This does not mean that the person that hurt them is not to be held accountable for his or her actions, that is something else. My focus is on helping my clients heal their experiences and this often helps mend broken family bonds in the process, if that was where the wounding took place. Clients often have the opportunity to heal long estranged relationships with parents, siblings, aunts and uncles and even grandparents as part of their own healing process. Mending these broken bonds is in fact part of the healing process and understanding that these relationships were there to facilitate a deeper healing that their soul was longing for – but that their ego was unaware of.
When a client is able to see the deeper wound that was being triggered, gratitude and forgiveness is a natural result. There is no reason to hold anything against anyone anymore once you have seen the truth. But it is uncovering this truth that is outside our current conditioning, that proves to be difficult. We have been taught to believe in guilt and blame and so that is how we interpret our reality. Part of the Twin Flame and Ascension journey is to deprogram this old conditioning and learn to see through the illusion of form and ego interpretations – to be able to see the soul’s truth which is of course a truth rooted in Oneness and interconnection. This is a reality where guilt, shame, blame and so on don’t exist, because they are a product of separation consciousness which is the opposite of Oneness.
Entering Heaven on Earth
This latter shift is what this whole journey is about, a migration from the old paradigm 3D fear-based dimensional reality into the higher vibrational 5th dimensional reality of Oneness and unity based in love which is the driving source of this multi-universe creation.
Be careful here, because many of you belief 3D equals physical and 5D equals energetical – but that is also not true. Dimensional realities are not places, all dimensional realities exist in the energetical realm before they potentially manifest in the physical realm. This is also true for the 5th dimensional reality, which is meant to manifest as a physical reality.
The 5th dimension is known as the Heaven on Earth frequency, how can you create Heaven on Earth if it doesn’t translate to your physical experiences? You can’t. Heaven on Earth implies that you will experience the perfection of Heaven in your Earthly existence and that is where the Twin Flame journey as part of the Ascension process is meant to bring you, into this state of consciousness and this state of being.
All the triggers you experience along the way are merely meant to peel back the layers of wounding that are keeping you from truly remembering who you are. They are meant to undo the programming that has kept you stuck in identifying yourself as a limited human being, instead of the unlimited multi-dimensional soul being that you are.
I pray that this article has given you a deeper understanding of the Twin Flame journey and specifically has given you a deeper insight into the dynamics of Twin Flame triggering. As you can see, despite it being a very emotional experience – being triggered is actually the point and serves to help you remove the subconscious fear, false beliefs and unprocessed pain that is keeping you stuck in the old 3rd dimensional paradigm. It is happening for you, not against you and will in the end allow you to access the higher vibrational reality of Heaven on Earth also known as 5D.
We cannot bypass this process by wishful thinking or energy manipulation, we have to do our inner work and release the heavy/dense or lower emotional frequencies that are weighing us down and covering our true nature. We need to wake up to the fact that we are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Yes, we have all heard this said before – but have failed yet to really know that this is our soul truth on a heart level. It’s one thing to conceptually understand things and see how they could be true, it’s quite a different thing to live something as our truth. That is the process we collectively find ourselves in of learning to live our soul truth, and not our ego identifications.
Inner union is when we have married the higher and lower self within ourselves, this unity and Oneness within is the doorway to the 5th dimension where the unity and Oneness found within is reflected back to us in our outer reality. This is the only way we can experience true Twin Flame union, when it has become a reflection of our inner state of consciousness and inner state of being.